The Joker:

6/30/2019 around 8 in the morning a call comes in to dispatch that a lady woke up to find a young man in her Kitchen. who had come in through the window. When she confronted him, he took off like a bandit (Pun Intended). Anyhow, one of our favorites, Officer Robin Venable (Rockin Robin) answered the call and immediately, (Donut in hand) went after the culprit. Ain’t no way a gentleman like Rockin Robin is gonna let a lady down.

It took about 2 hours but, in the same neighborhood (Edgewood Road) Rockin Robin found his man. The Venable one had the cuffs on Mr. William Carroll faster than your fries get cold at Wendys.

Apparently, Mr. Carroll had also tried to enter the home adjacent to the one he got into. We don’t know why he took off. Maybe the nice lady was holding a 44 Magnum and said: “Make My Day”. With Bruce Lee Bradley backing up Rockin Robin on this arrest, I’m sure Mr. Carroll eliminated any thoughts of running or resisting. When these two team up even Chinese Assassins can’t get away. For Chinese Assassin Story Click Here

Mr. Carroll is residing down at Ferguson Arms in Pineville where they include breakfast with your stay. He is charged with 2 counts of Burglary 2nd Degree (2 houses) and his bond is listed at $5000.00 “Cash” on one charge and no bond is listed on the other.

According to the Official Press Release, our beloved Harvey with Bah Bah and J.J. assisted in the investigation.

Mr. Carroll does have a previous record going back to 2013 when he was 19 or 20 years of age. His charges are 3 Bench Warrants and 2 Public Intoxication (Excludes Alcohol). He’s not exactly a one man crime wave.

Some don’t appreciate it when I mention it, but the issue here goes further than the Burglary. Mr. William Carroll is listed as “Homeless”. Here we go again. 26 years old and homeless without a major drug problem tells us something about the City and Mr. Carroll. My guess here is mental illness but every time I show an iota of sympathy to someone It comes back to bite me. One does not become homeless without burning bridges and usually the fuel for that is drug use or other extreme criminal activity. Mr. Carroll shows neither in his record. I would speculate that if Mr. Carroll does not find some sort of help, Burglary is just a start to where he’ll end up.

The homeless problem is not an easy one anywhere. Most homelessness is caused by drug use, but sometimes it is due to economic situations where housing is hard to find or very expensive (San Francisco). The photo used in the headline of this article is an actual photo from the Bell County Detention Center used on one of Mr. Carroll’s bookings. No one wants to hear about “The Homeless”. People want them to remain “Invisible”.

Great Job MPD.

Go Team Middlesboro!!!

“The following article is based on open and public records from the Middlesboro Police Department as well as The Bell County Detention Center Website and is written in the style of satire as an opinion piece not associated or based on the opinions of The Polygraph News, Incorporated—it’s founders, owners or staff.”