SHERIFF’S REPORT: Emus, mS-one three, darn horses

Many things happened in Cheatham while you’re off to work, relaxing at home or snoring next to your irritated loved one who impatiently puts up with your bodily extractions. When darkness falls, another life of noises come alive. Your servants check in service for reports of criminality on the roads and highways. We are geared and ready to answer your calls for help..

The call came in as a “rolling domestic” on OCP and Bearwallow. When the female rolled into the pavement of the moving vehicle, she was struck by a following car. She was transported for a possible broken ankle but otherwise, ok.

What is it about animals that like to graze, eventually get bored and make their way onto the asphalt roadway? The moon must have made an above normal amount of beckoning cows, horses, ponies, two emus and one drunk uncle, affectionately named “Animal.” They all dared approaching cars “running down the road, trying to lose’ their load.” Maybe people need to check their fences and keep their horses and “Animal” in the barn…

The caller reported a group of rogue kids, possibly MS-13 gang members, were shooting at him on the Harpeth. Deputies were already present and amongst the group, America loving boys who are Scout Explorers learning how to safely shoot with firearms instructors supervising.

Who is the gosh darn vermin lettin’ their horse out of the barn on Jackson’s trail where a Cabin was built.(Jackson Cabin) You kan’t leave you horse to ramble around unaccompanied without a senior mare or trusted sidekick like “Festus or Tattoo” to get them back in the barn! (Do you know who these characters are?) …Keep an eye on your wayward steed, white horse owner!

The suspect was arrested after being captured in Nashville by Kingston officers and Cheatham deputies. The suspect had multiple warrants in Dickson and Cheatham being one of the most sought after criminals in the district of Cheatham, Dickson, Humphreys, Houston and Stewart, we call the 23rd…other investigations on him continue…

It was just a simple traffic stop to advise the driver his tail light was out. This was the beginning of why a simple violation invites an observant servant to observe a little more. The driver was in possession of an array of drugs we call; schedule one, two and six. Also, there was stolen property found which was most likely possessed to support his drug demand.

We can’t leave out that he was a convicted felon with a deadly weapon needed in case some nosey law enforcement came snooping. And then there were the other warrants like introducing contraband into a penal facility…all in one simple stop. This is why we choose the most trained to roam the roads, watch over you and keep criminals nervous when they cross the line into the Kingdom of Cheatham…

The sound of metal on metal on asphalt was screeching so loud that the deputy rolled down his window thinking “this ain’t good.” A brand new Dodge 2500 came off the 188 at I-40 with both passenger tires on the rims and considerable damage in the front. The driver wrecked somewhere on the interstate but no calls came in. He apparently suffered from dementia and luckily, no one, including him, was hurt.

It wasn’t a very good week for criminals who practiced their craft in Cheatham. Your servants are determined and don’t play around when predators are preying on what’s most important to you.

Also, you know the routine? 9PM that is. Please get out and take your stuff out of the car, lock up the carriages, tack rooms, outhouses and cellar doors where the special medicinal shine is kept. Have a great weekend and drink plenty of water Team Cheatham!