The Joker:

Well since this is about a “Big Orange Crime Wave” then we’ll start big and orange and slow down as we go. On 5/3/19 around 8 P.M. Officer Joel Quillen (The Big Quillie) located Mr. Harley Evans (Alias Harley Trent) of Tazewell Tennessee out at the Village Square shopping center and arrested him on 7 Bench Warrants ranging from FTA to “Pay or stay” to a probation violation. All in all about 11 hundred in fines, a couple No Bonds and a 500 “Cash” bond. Welcome to Bell County Mr. Evans. At the time of this writing Mr. Evans/Trent is still chilling down at the Pineville Welcome Center for Big Orange Criminal Guests.

Here’s the part so many of you love the most. Yes, this is not Mr. Evans’ first visit to Pineville. His past charges include but are not limited to:

Public Intoxication X2
Recieving Stole Property X1
Cold Checks X1
Possession of Controlled Substance (Drug Unspecified)X1
Drug Paraphernalia X2
Contempt of Court X2
Bench Warrant X7
Promoting Contraband X2
Shoplifting X1
Possession of Meth X1
Concealed Deadly Weapon X1
Tampering With Physical Evidence X1
Probation Violation X1

Not bad huh? I wonder if Mr. Evans is as popular in Claiborne County. I guess we’ll never know since you can’t get the arrest records there unless you go pick them up. Maybe they’ll come into the 21st century some day. You know, like Knoxville and Sevier County.

Next up, on 5/3/19 right about 8 P.M. Lt. Josh Burchett (Bust Em) located Mr. Caleb Mills of Harrogate Tennessee out at Belks and arrested him on a couple complaint warrants. One warrant was for stealing a 150 dollar weed eater from a Middlesboro resident and the other was for grabbing 153.98 dollars worth of merchandise from Belks. Mr. Mills was taken down to the Pineville overnight stay/bed and breakfast for visiting Tennessee thieves with no bonds listed. He was released the next day. I’m sure he hauled ass back through the tunnel.

Much to many of your’s dismay. Mr. Mills has no previous charges in Bell County. A bit of advice to Mr. Mills. If you are not going to show up for court, then stay out of the Boro cause once that Bench Warrant is issued, the swarm will just be waiting to serve it.

Ok, this is the last one. On 5/4/19 just before daylight Officer Trosper of The Kentucky State Police arrested Mr. Kevin Taylor of Harrogate Tennessee and charged him with:

Speeding 26 MPH over Limit
Reckless Driving
Operating a motor vehicle under the influence of alcohol/drugs/etc. .08

Although no bonds were listed, Mr. Taylor was released from The Bell County Jail/lay over about 11 hours later. As I have informed you before, the Kentucky State Police in Laurel and Harlan Counties DO NOT issue police reports or press releases unless their is a fatality. Makes you wonder why they have public relation officers huh? Anyhow, good thing Mr. Taylor got off the road for awhile. Nothing worse than a Tennessee drunk driver except maybe …ah, never mind.

Many Thanks to The Big Quillie, Bust Em Burchett and Trooper Trosper (T.T.) for keeping the fine citizens of the Boro, and Bell County in general, safe from the constant flow of Big Orange Crime that comes through the tunnel. We appreciate your efforts.

Go Team Middlesboro!!!

“The following article is based on open and public records from the Middlesboro Police Department as well as The Bell County Detention Center Website and is written in the style of satire as an opinion piece not associated or based on the opinions of The Polygraph News, Incorporated—it’s founders, owners or staff.”