The Joker:

4/15/19 4:30 in the afternoon. Officer Nicholas Capps was called in to work at 3 p.m. Now that he has a little time he’s in the Mcdonald’s drive through out on the highway grabbing a burger, fries and a coke before the sun sets and things change. When Christine pulls up to the pay window the lady with most of her teeth says: “The guy in front of you paid for your order. He said to tell you ‘Be Safe’. “Well isn’t that nice”, thought Officer Capps. The car in front got it’s order and drove away. Christine said: “He had Laurel County Tags, I guess there are nice folks everywhere.”

4/16/19 12:45 P.M. Officer Capps has once again been asked to work part of the day shift. As you know, this is not his preference but he has never refused to pitch in and help the department when asked. Having started at 10 A.M. he’s now taking a lunch break at Wendy’s with a single, fries, and a small frosty. A man approaches the little table where Officer Capps is seated and says: “Officer thank you for your service to the community”. Officer Capps rises as the man looks closely at the name tag and says: “Officer Capps I see, well once again, we do appreciate you”. The man turns and walks away. Officer Capps says “Thank You” and sits back down. While finishing his lunch he thinks: “Maybe folks are beginning to see how hard our job is”.

4/17/19 3:30 in the afternoon. Officer Capps is still working part of the day shift. Reports have come in from Laurel County of an elderly woman being mutilated late last night and to be on the lookout for any suspicious characters. Officer Capps, now must eat before darkness comes and his real work begins. He decides on The New China Express (Free Advertising) place on Cumberland Avenue. You know the one with the cook everybody likes named Lee Ho Fook. As he walks inside he finds the same man who he met at Wendy’s yesterday. The Man whose hair was perfect was holding the Chinese menu in his hand and said: “Officer Capps, what a surprise, allow me to buy you a late lunch”. Officer Capps was taken back a bit but said: “Sure”.

While the man was enjoying a Big Dish Of Beef Chow Mein. Officer Capps had the Egg Foo Young with white rice. So with a couple of soda pops and some fortune cookies a conversation naturally occurred.

Officer Capps: “You’re not from around here are you?”
Man: “I must apologize officer for not introducing myself. I am currently living in London. My name is Samson Vines”.
Officer Capps: “What do you do?”
Mr. Vines: “I am a wild life researcher, I’m sure that is not as exciting as being a police officer”.
Officer Capps: “Well we do run into our fair share of wild life you know” laughing slightly.
Mr. Vines: “Yes I am sure you and I have much more in common than you realize”.

After the lunch the men parted ways with a hand shake. Officer Capps noticed that Mr. Vines had a thorough hairy handed grip that bordered on a challenge, but he shook it off. Once back inside Christine he read his fortune cookie: “I’d like to meet his tailor”.

4/18/19, 5:30 in the afternoon. Officer Nickolas Capps and Christine are still doing a bit of daytime duty to help out the Department’s manpower shortage. A call comes in about two women creating a disturbance on the North side of Cumberland avenue between 20th and 21st Street. Officer Capps pulls up in the middle of the block and Christine guides herself into a parallel parking spot. Officer Capps exits and approaches the women who are now getting heated up like a BBQ grill at a 4th of July Rock Concert.

Woman #1: “$%###@@@###%%%####”
Woman #2 “#$%%%^&&**”
Officer Capps: “ENOUGH !!! Don’t make me take you both to Pineville”

Officer Capps escorted the two nice ladies down to 20th and Cumberland where they continued to share a few barbs but at that point they parted ways. One went towards the Post office and one went towards South Side. Once they had achieved a sufficient distance between the two, Officer Capps went back to Christine.

As Officer Capps approached he could see steam coming out from under Christine’s hood.

“What’s wrong girl ?, Officer Capps Asked”
Christine: “The sexy yellow trollip decided to stop by and taunt me while I was hemmed in here between other cars”.
Officer Capps: “What happened”?
Christine: “She pulled up beside me knowing that I couldn’t get out. Blinking her lights and shaking her big ass while letting her stereo blast”.
Officer Capps: “I’m sorry but I had to take care of that call”.
Christine: “That’s not all of it. While Bananabitch was distracting me, The Joker’s crazy girlfriend came up from behind and tossed something into the front seat before I could roll the windows up.”

Officer Capps seated himself inside Christine and found a small brown paper bag. Upon opening it he found a Nickle plated 38 caliber Smith and Wesson Pistol. Officer Capps said: “It’s nothing, probably a stolen gun and I’ll turn it into the shop tomorrow.”

Now that darkness is coming to the crater. Christine pulls in behind Red Oak Church out on the Belt Line in order to allow the transformation to take place. In just seconds after the daylight has left, Officer Nicholas Capps becomes The Night Stalker, the most feared creature within miles around.

After a few moments of walking back and forth, The Night Stalker gets back into his vehicle and off they go on patrol. Things go as normal for a few hours and then dispatch calls: “Hey, don’t want to make ya miserable but there is a lady screaming about somebody “howling around her kitchen door”. I told her she “Better not let him in”.

Within moments Christine had the Night Stalker at the lady’s residence on the West Side. The Stalker rapped on the door of the residence and a middle aged woman answered.

Lady: Mr. Stalker thank Gawd you’re here!!! I could hear it like a big dog or coyote or something out there on the back porch snarling and growling. It was awful (tears flowing from her face).

The Night Stalker: Stoic as usual, walking through the house to the back door and out onto the porch. His red glowing eyes looking into the darkness surveying the situation in which he observes nothing.

Lady: Mr. Stalker, I’m afraid, It sounded like it was trying to get inside the house. I have a pistol but, it was evil, PURE EVIL, I tell you!

The Night Stalker: ‘Maam” there is nothing out there. If you hear, see or fear anything else, please call dispatch and one of us will be here ASAP.”

Lady, loosening her night robe kind of more than was needed like she was getting the vapors said in her best Scarlet O’Hara voice: “Mr. Stalker could you stay for a cup of coffee and a donut? Just a few minutes because, I am so awful afraid to be alone”.

The Night Stalker: “Maam, I have rounds to make, once again, just call dispatch if you have anymore issues”.

The Night Stalker left and as he and Christine drove away the dialogue went like this:

Christine: So you escaped the Cougar, do you think she actually saw anything?
The Stalker: Something is out there, I don’t know what.

April 19th 8:30 P.M. Sunset has come to the crater 15 minutes ago. The Stalker is now on patrol. He and Christine had the day time off to rest where Christine had her oil changed. She giggled the whole time at the garage.

Tonight is a special night. It is the night of the Pink Moon. April’s Full moon where it’s light brings forth the earth’s ability to give birth to all of it’s creatures.

After a couple hours of quiet, dispatch gets a call of a possible break in at the old warehouse across from Save-A-Lot (Free Advertising) and next to The Dollar General (Free Advertising) over on Dansbury Avenue. The lady that called in said she “observed a lone figure jimmy open the front door and enter the building”.

Christine eases herself into the gravel parking lot and stations herself directly about 40 feet in front of the main entrance. The Night Stalker exits and cautiously moves forward. The door has definitely been tampered with. The Night stalker enters the building slowly as the aged rusty door squeaks.

The old warehouse has gone through it’s share of owners and other problems. It has no electricity or running water. As you know, this is not a problem for The Night Stalker. Once inside he lifts the dark glasses and allows his heat seeking vision to scan the large room. A body is seen approximately 40 feet away. The Stalker says: “Stop there, why are you here?” A voice responds: “Officer Capps, I’m so glad you could make it”.

The Night Stalker recognizes the voice as Mr. Samson Vines. The dialogue continues:

The Stalker: Mr. Vines, why are you in this building at this time of the evening?
Samson Vines: I told you, that we had much more in common than you know.
The STalker: Mr. Vines, it appears as though you have entered the premises illegally. You need to tell me now why that is the case.
Samson Vines: I wanted to discuss your recent interaction with my grandmother Officer.
The STalker: Your Grandmother?
Samson Vines: Yes sir, if you recall, it happened in the old hospital in Downtown Middlesboro just a month ago.
The Stalker: I think you have the wrong impression sir.
Samson Vines: You see, The Witch was my grandmother. She turned my father into a Lycan, which means he had the ability to transform on command rather than wait for the full moon. As his son I share that ability. I could have ripped your lungs out when I met you at Wendy’s but of course that would have been messy. I thought allowing you to transform also would be the fair thing to do.
The Stalker: Mr. Vines, you are mistaken.
Samson Vines: With the moon in it’s fullness, my abilities are increased. Now you will learn what you have taught.

In the blackness of the warehouse The Night Stalker’s vision could still see Samson Vines go through the transformation from human to Werewolf. Painful as it looked, Mr. Vines, went into the seizure that grew his arms, legs and torso into one of the most feared animals in the world. His screams and groans only added to the pain of rebirth. When the process was complete, the growl that issued forth rattled the metal walls of the warehouse.

With a Wolfe’s speed, the Beast charged at the Night Stalker who pulled back the Trench coat and leveled his six gun. A series of “Bangs” came forth causing the beast to pause. The Wolf, growled even louder and charged again. The Stalker responded with six more shots from his extra six gun. The Beast fell to the floor and appeared to be done for. The Stalker stayed firm.

The seconds that passed seemed like hours. The Stalker was about to approach the victim of his guns, when without hesitation the Werewolf jumped to it’s feet and once again charged The Night Stalker pinning him to the metal wall of the warehouse. At this point it was supernatural strength against supernatural strength. The werewolf’s massive jaws were within inches of The Night Stalker’s throat. It was all The Stalker could do to hold back the beast. The Stalker was losing the battle. Soon his blood would be spread all over the warehouse floor.

With his life flashing before his eyes, The Night Stalker remembered the 38 caliber pistol he’d placed in his pocket to turn into the station. With one hand holding the Lycan back he reached in his pocket and got the pistol, pressing it against the hairy chest of the beast he pulled the trigger. BANG!!! The werewolf released his death grip and fell backwards. Gasping for breath The Stalker let go the other 4 shots…BANG! , BANG!, BANG !, BANG!.

The lycan rolled over and let out a screeching howl that lasted long enough to be never forgotten and then…gave up the ghost.

The Night Stalker stood over the body of the Werewolf wondering what the hell had just happened. Suddenly a flash of light came and the lycan changed back into the man Samson Vines whose chest displayed the bloody 5 gun shot wounds. The Stalker was going to radio in for an ambulance when slowly before his eyes Mr. Vines dissipated into a pile of dust. At that moment, The Big Quillie (Officer Joel Quillen) bust through the door waving his service weapon screaming “Freeze!!!”

The Dust of Mr. Samson Vines scattered over the floor of the warehouse as the wind of the open door came in.

When The Big Quillie’s flash light beam found The Night Stalker, he lowered his weapon and asked: “What’s going on? Christine called for back up with shots fired.”
The Stalker Responded: “It’s nothing, some kids set off some firecrackers”.
The Big Quillie: “The door looks like someone broke in”.
The Night Stalker: “I think it’s been that way for awhile. There is nothing in here to steal”.

Our heroes left the scene. The Big Quillie radioed back to the station that it was all clear and nothing to worry about. The Dispatcher though to himself: “Bullshit, there is never, “nothing to worry about” with The Night Stalker”.

As The Night Stalker And Christine were driving away, she said: “Convinced now?”
The Night Stalker: “The nickel plate was actually silver plate. The bullets were silver”.
Christine: “I told you so”.
The Night Stalker: “He has a Black List and he’s using us to execute it.”
Christine: “I wonder what or who is next”?

As they whipped down 15th street they failed to notice The Bananalac hiding in the shadows watching them.

Lola Sinn: “Mission Accomplished”
The Joker to the Bananalac: “Put on some Warren Zevon”.

Go Team Middlesboro!!!

For Warren Zevon’s “Werewolves Of London” with lyrics, click here.

She’s Got The Moon In Her Eyes…The Witch Vs. The Night Stalker…Click Here If You missed It.


The above story is purely fantasy. It bears no opinions, thoughts or beliefs of the Polygraph News, it’s staff, it’s owners or anyone else. These writings are solely for entertainment purposes, unless of course you believe in werewolves, witches and Night Stalkers.