The Joker:

WARNING!!! This is a long story containing adult language and violence. You’ve been warned.

Thursday, 6/20/2019, 4:22 in the afternoon. Officer Nicholas Capps is at the Middlesboro Walmart buying shaving cream, razors, tooth paste, hair and body wash (Nivea) and a few other things that men need to stay clean. Officer Capps is lucky that the Mach 3 disposable razors 5 pack last him for a few months. He doesn’t have that much of a beard. He has more of a baby face like J.J. and not a hair growth like Big D. Buis that needs a chain saw to shave twice a day.

As usual, the place is busy and several of the usual Hillbilly bleach blonds attempt to block Officer Capps’ way as he tries to get through the aisles. As an attractive Policemen he’s certainly a catch in little ole Middlesboro. Once in line, behind several others, Officer Capps observes a 40 something man attempting to make a pass at a late 30s woman with a cart loaded full of goods.

Man: “Hey, maybe we can hook up sometime. I like to party”.
Lady ignores him.
Man: “I could grill some steaks and we could watch a movie”
Lady ignores him.
Man: “It could be the weekend of your life”.
Lady: “You smell like beer and cigarettes”.
Man: “And you smell like kitty liter and loneliness”.
Lady: “456-28##”. Call after 4 on Friday.

Officer Capps was thinking to himself, “Why can’t it be so easy”? Yes I want a real relationship that will last for life. I can’t help who I am. I wonder if a woman can ever accept me.

As his mental musings went on suddenly a bump was felt on his backside as a shopping cart entered his space. Officer Capps turned to see a woman saying:

“Eu sinto Muito. Por favor me perdoe”. Translation: “I’m sorry, please forgive me”.

Officer Capps just stood there staring.

The Woman continued: “My English is not so good, I did not mean to harm you, I want you not mad at me please”.
Officer Capps responded: “Ah, maam, it’s ok”.

You see, Officer Capps had just been rear ended by the shopping cart of a 5 Foot 8 inch, olive skinned, long dark haired, tight jeans with boots wearing, rather well equipped in a tight T Shirt, absolutely gorgeous, Brazilian Bombshell. Nickie just sort of stood back in awe. Ain’t nothing like that around the Boro.

Brazilian Lady: “I justa move here and I donta want no problem. I see you police, please”.
Nickie Capps: “Maam don’t worry about it. Relax.
Brazilian Lady: “Thank you, Thank you, please”.

Officer Capps checked out and with resisting the urge to look back at the lady, continued out the door to the old MPD Clunker he would drive for the rest of the night. As he opened the truck of the clunker to put his just bought goods in, a sexy voice said behind him: “I sorry sir, I really no want anyone mad at me, I just move here and I have to sell house.”

Apparently, the Brazilian lady had parked next to the Clunker. Officer Capps turned and said: “Maam, we are glad to have you here in Middlesboro and once again, please don’t worry about anything.”

Brazillian Lady: “I know nothing about this place”.
Before, Officer Capps could think, his lips moved: “I would be glad to show you around”.
Brazillian Lady stepping back: “Show around”?
Officer Capps, stammering: “I mean like…take you to lunch”.
Brazillian Lady: “What is lunch”?
Officer Capps, still struggling and blushing: “Like to eat, at noon”.
Brazillian Lady, laughing: “Almoço, Yes I go. My name is Karla”.
Officer Capps: “Ah Nickie, call me Nickie”.

The lady agreed to meet Officer Capps at the Steak House on Monday around 12:30 for “Almoco”. By the time Nickie got to work he felt like he’d won the lottery.

6/24/19 11:00 in the morning. Officer Capps is tired from working the night shift but he’s not let off of the coffee, a shower, tooth paste, deodorant, cologne, and hair gel getting ready to meet the Brazilian lady for lunch at noon at the steak house. I’m not supposed to say so, but a little “Oil of Olay” was involved also.

At Noon when, Nickie was stationed outside the restaurant trying not to sweat, a 2018 M8 BMW pulled into the parking lot and as the door opened every man within a block away stopped what he was doing to look. A pair of olive tanned legs that looked like they could stretch to Knoxville got out of the car in 3 inch pump heels and a tight Yellow mini dress. Officer Capps swallowed his breath mint.

“Hello Nickie” the lady said.
“Ah, I, you, We” Officer Capps was stammering.
“Can we go inside”? The lady asked.
“Yes, Yes” Officer Capps replied as he opened the door.

While the hostess walked them though the dinning room to a booth, 4 couples had already started to bicker.

Wife: “What are you looking at”?
Husband: “Huh, the french fries are cold”.
Wife: “Yeah sure, don’t think, I don’t see your eyes”.
Husband: “The cole slaw is good”.
Wife: “Get the check”.
Husband: “Let’s have desert”.

The waitress, whose pretty damn good looking herself approached the table.

Waitress: “Hello Nickie, what would ya’ll like to drink”?
Officer Capps: “I, we, well, I mean…”
Waitress: “So, you’ll have a diet coke now what would the lady like”?
Lady Karla: “A Margarita please”.

Officer Capps stammered and stumbled his way through lunch and when it ended, he walked Lady Karla to her car. Every bus boy, dishwasher, some customers and even the manager decided to go outside and smoke a cigarette at the same time they were leaving. The manager don’t even smoke.

Officer Capps opening the lady’s car door: “Ah, can I see you again? I’d like to show you the Pinnacle”?
Lady Karla: “What is this ‘Pinnacle'”?
Officer Capps: “The top of the mountain with a view”.
Lady Karla: “Ok, I meet you on Wednesday at mall. 11:30”.

6/26/19 Wednesday, just before Noon. Officer Capps awaits Lady Karla on the Middlesboro Mall Parking lot. He’s showered, shaved, covered himself in cologne and jelled his hair back wearing his best pair of jeans and a collared shirt. He even rented a car so that she wouldn’t have to ride in a truck. With double brushed teeth and 2 flushes of mouth wash, he watches the M8 BMW pull up.

“Get In” The Lady said.
“I, you, me, my car, I thought,” Nickie stammered.
The Lady laughed. “You so silly”.
Nickie got in the car leaving his service weapon and cell phone in the rental.
The Lady put the car in first gear and Nickie said: “Wait!!!”
Wait? She said.
I left the picnic basket in the car. He replied.
“What is ‘Picnic’ “? She questioned.
“I made lunch for us. We can eat in the park”. Nickie said smiling.
She replied: “You make food for me…You so sweet”.

Actually, Nickie got Harvey to ask Mamaw to make it. Mamaw made 2 small salads (with crackers), 6 Deviled Eggs, 2 Turkey and Cheese hoagies, her famous potato salad and a large portion of Banana Pudding. Kind of a heavy lunch, but one thing Mamaw knows about is Romance. The more food the longer time you spend together. She told Harvey that if her basket didn’t come back he’d go hungry for a long while.

The 2 bottles of Red Wine (Mouton Cadet), were picked out by a friend that knew Officer Capps couldn’t afford top of the line but at least this was French and good for a picnic.

When they arrived at the top of the mountain, Officer Capps who was not used to being chauffeured in luxury by such beauty got out and looked around. She was wearing the tightest pair of Roberto Cavalli Jeans you’d ever seen, 3 inch heels and a Saint John’s Caviar Collection Tank Top.

As they walked down the trail towards the over look they passed 2 teenage boys about 16 years old. The boy’s eyes were locked on the Brazilian Lady until they realized that Nickie had noticed. The boys both blushed. Yes of course they both watched the couple go on down the trail.

Boy #1: “Damn”.
Boy #2 “Yeah”.

When they reached the overlook, she exclaimed: “Nickie, this is so beautiful”.

Officer Capps found his voice and began to tell the Lady about the area and the town of Cumberland Gap below. He went on for about 2 mins when she placed her hand on his arm that was riding the rail. He blushed. She giggled. Their eyes met. Her hand moved to his shoulder. Their lips joined. For 1.5 seconds Nickolas Capps felt like he was on top of the world.

“Now we go picnic”? She asked.

Nickie was spreading out the table cloth on the picnic table under the gazebo in Bartlett Park. Karla was removing the food from the basket. Other than directions to the picnic area, they’d not spoken on the ride down the mountain after the kiss.

She placed two wine glasses on the table and Nickie mused to himself “It’s good to have friends that know things, I wouldn’t have thought of that”.

When they had seated themselves Nickie grabbed one of the wine bottles and started to screw the top off. Karla snickered.

“You give me” She said.

Reaching into the basket she brought out the wine opener and proceeded to pop the cork.

Nickie took the bottle, poured her glass full and sat the bottle back on the table.

“Why you give me so much”? “Why you don’t take wine”?

Officer Capps is a policeman not a wine steward. He was not aware that one shouldn’t fill up a wine glass to the top.

Embarrassed He said: “I, you, me, Well, I don’t drink”.

Karla took the bottle and poured Nickie’s glass half full and said: “No wine, no picnic”.

2 hours later they had talked about Middlesboro, Police Work, Brazil, and several other things. Nickie had mustard on his white pull over shirt with the little alligator on it. Both bottles of wine were gone.

When they got down to the entrance to Barlett Park, Karla turned right instead of left back towards the Boro. Nickie said: “You’ve gone the wrong way but it’s ok we can turn around at Sugar Run”.

Karla didn’t turn around at Sugar Run Road, She hit the gas and started down Dark Ridge.

“Hey slow down, this road is dangerous” Nickie blurted out.

“You relax, me drive”. She replied laughing.

For those of you who don’t know Officer Capps (The Night Stalker) has had some real experiences out on Sugar Run/Dark Ridge. You can view them by clicking Here and Here.

The wine had taken it’s toll on the untrained liver of Officer Capps. Karla was obviously experienced at driving as she handled the twists and turns of Sugar Run well. Although going well over the speed limit, Nickie convinced her to take the turn into Colmer where they could get on 25 E and head back towards the Boro. When she turned South on highway 25E, she kicked the M8 Beamer and it responded. At well over 100 mph they blew right by one of those Dodge Challengers containing a State Trooper. The Trooper turned on the Christmas lights and attempted to catch up.

Nickie: “On Shit” !!!
Karla Laughing: “He no fast”.
Nickie slurring his words: “I am an ossifer of the log”.

Well Karla was right. Cheap American is not a match for high quality German engineering no matter how well the commercials are made. When she pulled up next to Nickie’s rental car in the Mall Parking lot, The State Trooper was just coming into town with his lights glowing and siren blaring. Karla laughed.

“You come my house on Friday. I make nice Brazilian Steak for you lunch”
“Ok, Ok ” Nickie said as he was getting out of the Beamer. Not in total control of himself due to the wine he added: ” I really like you”.

When Officer Capps seated himself in the rental car he thought: “I don’t even know where she lives”.

The next morning, Officer Capps felt like he’d been rode hard and put up wet. Beautiful women, Police Chases and French Wine can be rough on you.

Friday,6/28/19, 11:00 A.M. Officer Capps has been home since daylight from working the night shift. Not knowing where Karla lived really makes it hard to meet her for lunch. Suddenly, Nickie’s cell phone rang. It was a strange number but he answered: “Hello”.

“Nickie, I no remember to tell you where I live” A sexy voice said.
“Yes, I, well,” He replied.

Karla gave him the address out on Twin Fawn Trail. Nickie knew the area, Big houses, rich folks.

When the call ended, his heart fluttered. He had just enough time to clean up and go rent a car before arrival.

He pulled into the drive way where she was awaiting him on the big porch out front. She was wearing a long white dress that was a pull over. Sandals with 2 inch heels was all that could be seen of her.

“Nickie you get a new car”? she said from the porch.
“Ah, nah, I, well” He blushed. She giggled.

She led him through the large house and out the back sliding glass doors to the pool and seated him at a table with an umbrella near the grill.

“You no bring luggage”?
“Luggage” he answered.
“Yes, with swimming pants” She asked.
“Ah, I, well, me, no I didn’t think about it”. He replied.

Another rookie mistake he thought to himself.

She went back into the house and returned with a large Diet Coke for him and a Margarita for her. You could smell the steaks on the grill.

“Take off shirt. I put creme for sun on you”.
“What”? He answered
“Nickie, take off shirt, you too white, you burn.” She ordered.

He unbuttoned his White J.C. Penny shirt and pulled it out of his Khaki pants and placed it on the table. She began to rub the sun burn cream on his arms and chest. His heart was starting to skip a few beats.

As she moved around the chair she said: “You get up so I put on back”. When Officer Capps stood up she pushed him into the pool. Coming up from under the water, his khaki pants, Walmart Belt, Argyle Socks, Penny Loafers and wallet containing 16 dollars was now soaking wet. He turned to look at her. She was pulling the long white gown like dress up over her head revealing a one piece bathing suit that would make a Sports Illustrated Photographer blush. While he was adjusting his eyes she dived in and came up in front of him. With her beautiful olive skin glistening in the sunlight, he couldn’t resist any longer. Their lips met and their arms wrapped around each other. I’ll skip the rest of the details.

4 hours later, the entire neighborhood could smell it. The Brazilian steaks had never left the grill and were now burned to a crisp. After putting on his still wet Khaki pants he kissed her goodbye and asked: “How did you get my cell Phone number”? She answered: “Your friend, Mr. Dispatcher, gave it to me”. They scheduled another lunch at the Cracker Barrel on Sunday. While Officer Caps drove home, he was glad he was off that night. Although totally exhausted, he felt like a Champion.

Sunday 6/30/19 1:12 P.M. She insisted that they take her car to the Cracker Barrel. She was on to the rental car scheme Nickie was using but she wouldn’t dare say so. She handed Nickie the keys. He said: “I, well, You, Me, You want me to drive”? She smiled. Nickie opened the passenger side door for her.

When they parked and started in the building. The women noticed she was wearing an Alice+Olivia Electra Asymmetric Ruffle High-Low Dress with Valintino Rockstud Slingback Pumps. Not too many women in the Boro can wear 1500 dollars worth of clothing to go to Cracker Barrel. Take my word for it, the men noticed also.

After they were seated, Nickie’s chest couldn’t have been pumped out more. Every other eye in the restaurant was on them. Who was this beyond gorgeous mysterious foreign woman with Nickie Capps. You could see the way they looked at each other that they were “involved”. It being Sunday, every bible thumper in two counties was there. Wouldn’t be long before this got around.

When Nickie got home that evening he was torn. He knew he’d have to tell her who he was. Would she accept it? Would she run away in fear? If only he knew. He couldn’t sleep. He was worn out tired.

Monday, July 1st, 5 P.M. 4 hours before Night Fall. Officer Capps was called in early due to the man power shortage, as he entered the station, he noticed that the boys weren’t exactly being as friendly as usual. You see, in the Boro, the only thing that travels faster than gossip is the name of whoever is buying EBT cards. Not even Joe Holder is as fast as the Boro pipeline.

By the time it got through the pharmacies, Kroger, 2 Dollar stores, The laundry mat out at the B.P. Station, The Banks, The Food City Deli, 3 nurse’s stations at the Hospital, The Bingo Halls, The women working up at City Hall, The Post Office Staff, The old men that hang out at the Dairy Queen in the morning, Conley’s, several yard sales, A Church Fish Fry, Big Lots, 6 Beauty Salons, Pretty much all of Polly and Happy Hollows, as well as at least 11 Face Book Threads, the consensus was that Officer Capps was getting married, moving to South America to live on a 10 thousand acre horse ranch and running his new wife’s oil empire. Nobody was even discussing the two preachers who now were sleeping on the couch because they had to leave dinner and go outside that Sunday for a smoke to watch the couple/her leave the building. One preacher put his head down so far to make sure he didn’t look that his nose hit the biscuits and gravy.

The women at the pharmacies would no longer be as helpful to Officer Capps. That good looking blond that’s been waiting a year for Nickie to ask her out at the bank would now make him fill out his own deposit slips. The cashier at Kroger who had a crush on him closed her line when he came through. Even the married women were mad. None of them now would have a chance to be the bride’s maid at a friend’s wedding. The Women at Walmart just turned their heads now instead of trying to start a conversation. The Home Coming Queens and Cheer Leading Captains were just out of luck. Even one Cougar over on Winchester Avenue was quoted as saying; “Damn Her”. None of them could compete with the tall, Olive skinned, long dark haired, green eyed Queen of Hearts.

As you would have it, the news also reached Mamaw via the weekly church social. She immediately called Harvey.

Mamaw: “Why didn’t you tell me she was a ferner”?
Harvey: “I, well, Me, I mean, You,”
Mamaw: “Harvey, folks don’t like those that shop outta town”.
Click

Tuesday July 2nd 1:45 in the morning. A call comes in to Dispatch.

Dispatcher: “Middlesboro Police Department”
Lady screaming loudly: “Monstro, try kill me, Monstro, help me” !!!
Dispatcher: “Calm maam, now what is trying to kill you”?
Lady screaming even louder: “Un Monstro, my house, he outside, want kill me, Help” !!!
Dispatcher: “Maam can you speak slowly and clearly, what wants to hurt you”?
Lady now screaming in total panic: “Monstro!!! , Come my back porch, He want kill me, please, please help me”.

The Dispatcher used the caller ID to get the address. When the radio message went out The Night Stalker immediately knew the place. “I got it” he told the dispatcher. The phone signal had gone silent. The Dispatcher tried calling back but no one answered.

Flooring the Clunker, The Night Stalker arrived out on Twin Fawn Trail within minutes. Reaching the door he began to pound on it. He could hear the lady screaming from inside: “Ah Dios Meo !!!” “Não me mate por favor” (Translation: “Oh my God, Please don’t kill me”). The noise of furniture being thrown around and the lady’s screams was enough to use as a sound track in a Stephen King movie. The Night Stalker reared back and drove his hand right through the thick oak door, flipped the dead bolt and entered the living room with a six gun blaring. 10 feet away stood the “monstro”, a 400 pound Papa Black Bear that had come in through the open sliding glass doors in the back. Mr. Bear had helped himself to anything he could find tasty and was proceeding to wreck the place based on his bad attitude. The lady had locked herself in the bathroom and was screaming wildly.

The Night Stalker did not wish to kill the bear. He took off his sunglasses revealing his piercing red eyes. The Bear raised up on two legs and growled. The Lady continued to scream. The Night Stalker stood his ground, raised his arms and growled back even louder. The standoff lasted maybe another 2 minutes before Papa Bear got the hint that he wasn’t facing some sissy with an apple in his pocket. Papa Bear slowly turned and moved back out onto the rear porch and then into the darkness of the woods. Silence came over the house.

The Night Stalker walked over and closed the sliding glass doors and made sure they were locked and covered with the curtain. A voice behind his back asked: “You police yes”? “Yes I am police maam” he answered as he was putting the bar in the sliding glass to make sure of no further breakins. When the Stalker turned to face The Lady he had forgotten to put his glasses back on. She saw his Red Glowing Eyes and screamed: “You Monstro”!!! and fainted falling loudly on the hard wood floor exposing herself because all she was wearing was a bathrobe.

The Stalker rushed over to pick her up. Wrapping her in his arms he carried her to the couch where he tightened up her robe and grabbed a nearby quilt to cover her. Her large bosoms were heaving due to the fainting spell. Putting his dark glasses back on and removing his trench coat, The Stalker knelled patiently by her side. Roughly five minutes later she revived.

“What happen me”? She whispered.
“You Fainted Maam” The Stalker replied
“I saw monstro” She said tearful.
“It was a bear maam. It came in through the back door”. He told her.
“You, you, You a monstro too” She barked, getting her strength back.
“No maam I’m not a monster, I’m a policeman” He said having not noticed that he was holding her hand.
Placing her other hand on his shoulder she said: “I glad you save me”.

“IS EVERYTHING ALRIGHT HERE STALKER”? A deep male voice interjected. It was The Big Quillie. The Dispatcher had sent him in as back up.
“YEAH” !!! ‘Everything is Fine”. “It was a bear”. replied The Stalker
“Fine Yeah, can’t argue that. A Bear, yeah sure buddy, I’ll be on my way”.

Another few minutes passed as The Stalker made sure the lady was ok.

“You stay here for coffee and Coisas doces” ? She asked The Stalker.
“No Karla, I must go back on duty” He replied.
“How you know my name Karla”?

When daylight came and The Stalker was back in his cave he wondered if he should have told her the truth then and there. Let her decide if she wants to go on now knowing who Nicholas Capps really is. His mental anguish did not go on much longer. He was beyond exhausted and found sleep easily.

Friday July 5th, 2 P.M. Officer Capps does what he has longed to do since Monday. He calls Karla’s cell phone to ask for a date. It’s been a few days since they spoke. Nickie didn’t want to seem too forward but he’s hoping for a repeat of last Friday’s action. 5 Rings later a Sexy Voice recording says several things in Portuguese that of course he don’t understand. When the “beep” goes off he leaves a message about hoping she’s well and wanting to see her again. Having to work that night as well as through the weekend makes it difficult to date. He’s tired, so tired.

Sunday July 7th, 2 A.M. The Night Stalker is on patrol. Karla has still not responded to Nickie’s phone message.

Dispatch: “Hey tough guy you out there”?
The Night Stalker: “Yeah”
Dispatch: “What’s your location”?
The Night Stalker: “Cruising the Happy Hollow Apartments Parking Lot”.
Dispatch: “Ok thanks”.
The Big Quillie who hears the same radio couldn’t help but laugh.

After leaving the Apartment’s parking lot The Stalker steered the Clunker up the hollow and turned on to Twin Fawn Trail. He couldn’t help himself. He needed to drive by her house and see if all was well.

As he approached you could hear the sound of blasting Latin music pouring out into the night. It wasn’t surprising that the neighbors had not called in a complaint considering how far apart the houses are. Every light in the place was on and the front door was wide open.

Unable to resist, The STalker pulled the clunker into the driveway.

Having reached the entrance The Stalker stood there knocking on the apparently brand new Oak door that was installed. No one was answering. Most likely they couldn’t hear him for the music. He waited.

A tall blond haired young man wearing nothing but a thong who was obviously a body builder with a Latin tan stepped out of the hallway. He was surprised when he saw the 6 foot 6 inch Night Stalker standing in the door way.

Man: “Who you, what you want”?
The Stalker: “I am with the Middlesboro Police Department and we received complaints on the loud music sir”.
Man: “We like music, you go home”.

The Stalker was fighting off the urge to grab Mr. Brazilian Atlas by the throat and hold him up against the wall like hanging a velvet Elvis picture when Karla came out of the kitchen.

Karla: o que há de errado (What’s Wrong).
Man: A polícia está aqui. A música é alta (The Police are here. The music is too loud).
Karla: Eu conheço esse policial. Deixe-me cuidar disso. (I know this policeman. Let me take care of it).

The blond haired body builder went out through the sliding doors into the pool area that was glowing with lights, but not before giving The Night Stalker a 10 second man stare.

Karla moved closer to The Night Stalker and said: “I sorry for music”.
The Night Stalker: “Maam if you could just turn it down please”.
Karla: “I sorry for my friend Marco. He come from Knoxville to fix door you break”.
The Night Stalker: “I’m sorry about the door maam”.
Karla: You save me from Monstro. Thank you.
The Night Stalker: “It’s my job maam”.
Marco screaming from the pool: “KARLA!!! o camarão está pronto. Traga mais vinho (The Shrimp is ready. Bring more wine)
Karla touching The Stalker’s arm: “I must go”.
The Night Stalker: “Call us if you need us maam”.

Leaving the drive way The Stalker stomped on the gas. Chocking and spitting the Clunker drove the trail and down the hollow. The Stalker thought to himself that Marco just don’t know how lucky he is.

Tuesday July 9th, 1:45 P.M. Officer Capps calls Karla’s cell phone only to get the same voice machine in Portuguese. He left a message about seeing her soon and wanting to take her to lunch. He couldn’t sleep. He was tired, oh so tired. Why wouldn’t she respond to him? What did he do? What did he not do? The wondering was exhausting.

Tuesday July 9th 5:30 P.M. Dispatch texts Officer Capps to come in early.

At 6 P.M. Officer Capps enters the back door of the station knowing he’ll have to do a 14 hour shift. The dispatcher was in the bathroom so Chief Busic manned the desk. A call came in.

Chief Busic: “Yeah, yes, of course, we’ll have someone out there in a few mins”.
Dispatcher returning: “What’s up”?
Chief Busic: “Up in Noetown, the x boyfriend is threatening the lady and her mother and refusing to leave”.
Dispatcher: “I’ll send Lover boy. He just came in. We all know how good he is with the women”.

Officer Capps didn’t appreciate the remark but out to Noetown he drove. Upon arrival he came up on the porch to the sound of yelling and cussing.

Knocking on the screen door, Officer Capps yelled: “Police !!!”

Mother answering the door: “Oh thank, God. He’s high on some shit and threatening to kill her. I told the son of a bitch to leave and he won’t go. If you don’t get him outta here, I’m gonna stab him in the eye with a steak knife”.

Officer Capps continued towards the noise to find a man holding a woman against the wall in a bedroom threatening to punch her out. Before the man could react he was thrown across the bed where he hit the wall on the other side of the room. Being picked up he received several hand strikes to the face. He was then dragged to the front door and thrown out into the yard. Officer Capps was thinking: “I got your Brazilian Body Builders”.

The Mother screamed: “Yeah that outta teach your dumb ass !!!”
The lady across the street yelled: “Beat that ass hole” !!!

Officer Capps went into the yard. Picked the man up, led him and his swelling eyes to the gate and turned him out with a warning: “If I see you back over here again, you’ll end up in jail”.

Returning to the house, Officer Capps said: “Ladies if he comes back over here just call the office and we’ll take care of it”.
The Mother: “If he comes back over here you can call the coroner cause I’ll kill that piece of shit.
Officer Capps: “Maam don’t do anything rash, just call us and we’ll handle it”.
The Mother laughing: “Boy you whopped his ass good. I know he’ll remember that. Thanks”.
Getting back in the Clunker to leave, Officer Capps heard the lady across the street yell: “Good Job Officer”.

Driving back towards town the radio burped out: “Capps, you ok out there. Should I send back up”?
Officer Capps replied: “Nah, everything is cool”.
Dispatcher: “What happened”?
Officer Capps: “I put a set of sunglasses on him”.
The Dispatcher looked up at Chief Busic and said: “Something ain’t right here”.

By daylight Officer Capps was barely able to drive home. He was tired beyond tired. It was like he was anemic or had some sort of palsy. He fell asleep as soon as he hit the bed.

Thursday July 11th. 3:30 in the afternoon. Nickie called Karla’s cell phone again with the same results. Yes, he left a message about being off on Sunday and hoping they could have lunch again at Cracker Barrel or go for a picnic. Before he could think more about what he should have said he got a text from the Department: “Come in ASAP”.

By 5 P.M. Officer Capps entered the back of the station. A few officers were waiting to start their shifts. Nobody said hello. One remark was heard: “lucky is here”.

Officer Capps picked up his clunker keys and went out on the road. He wasn’t in any mood to listen to bullshit. Karla hasn’t returned his calls and she’s got some Brazilian Body Builder up at her place. He wasn’t feeling too “Lucky”.

Dispatch: “Hey Capps, go over on Exeter Avenue. 2 guys are out in the street fighting.”.
Officer Capps: “Yeah ok”.

When he arrived, two healthy looking young men that weighted about 200 pounds each were punching and kicking as well as cussing and yelling at each other. The neighbors were out on their porches watching.

Officer Capps: “Alright boys it’s over for tonight, lets break it up”.

The fight continued with kicking, punching and wrestling. Neither seemed to be getting the best of the other.

Officer Capps: “Last chance boys before somebody goes to jail”.
Man #1: “Fuck you loser”.

The word “Loser” ran through Nickie’s mind like a razor. He reacted. He didn’t think. Moving into the fray he hit the man in the face with a right cross that lifted him off the ground. His head hit the pavement faster than a divorced husband’s feet. He was knocked out cold.

Officer Capps turned towards the 2nd man. He backed away saying: “Hey dude, I was just kidding, We weren’t really fighting, I well”. The man turned and hauled ass up Exeter running like he’d found a good EBT card. Nickie didn’t chase him.

The Dispatcher called for an ambulance after talking to Officer Capps who stated: “I knocked him out”.

Dispatcher: “Tom, you need to bring in Capps. He’s got the Devil in him”.
Chief Busic: “Give it one more day”.
Dispatcher: “I’m telling you, something ain’t right here”.
Chief Busic: “Make some fresh coffee”.

Saturday July 13th 1:30 in the morning. A call comes into Dispatch:

Lady: “Please, me hurt, I need help”.
Dispatcher: “What’s wrong maam? How are you hurt? ”
Lady Crying: “Ele me machucou” (Translation: He Hurt Me).
Dispatcher: I only speak English Maam.
Lady whimpering: “Help me please, He kill me”.

Dispatch put out the call with the Twin Fawn Trail address and Lt. Eddie Myers (Mr. Serious) was the first on the scene. The lady opened the door and Lt. Myers had her sit on the couch while he went out by the pool to find A Brazilian Atlas carrying around a glass of wine while the music blasted loudly like a Megadeth Concert.

Lt. Myers: “Sir you got a problem”?
Brazilian Atlas: “I got no problem, fuck you”.
Lt. Myers: “Sir put your hands behind your back, your under arrest”.
Brazilian Atlas laughing: “I go no where with you asshole”.
Lt. Myers: “Don’t make me use the taser”.

At this moment The Night Stalker entered the front door.

Seeing Karla on the couch The Stalker stopped. She was holding her sides while a trickle of blood dripped from the corner of her mouth. Her left eye was swelling. The Stalker put his hand on her cheek and removed his glasses displaying the glowing red eyes. “I will take care of it” he said. “No please, he is Brazilian Jiu Jitsu Champion, dangerous” she muttered through the pain.

Lt. Myers could not see behind him. The Night Stalker had entered the scene taking off his trench coat and utility belt with the 2 six guns and placing them on a pool side table.

Brazilian Atlas laughed: “Who that, Batman”?

Brazillian Atlas laughed: “Who that, Batman”?
Lt. Myers turned to see what was behind him when in the blink of an eye The Night Stalker had the 220 pound Mr. Atlas by the throat holding him 8 feet off the ground. Mr. Atlas was kicking and punching to no avail. The Stalker hurled him into the pool where he came up out of the water fast only to find The Stalkers left hand around his throat again and his teeth flying out of his mouth. Punch, Punch, Punch you could hear the sound of Mr. Atlas’ nose and jaw breaking. The Stalker then pushed his head under the pool water until bubbles came up, whereas The Stalker pulled him out and began to punch him again. Blood was coloring the pool water when BANG!!! BANG!!! Lt. Myers fired his 40 caliber into the air gaining The Stalker’s attention.

“DON’T KILL HIM !!!” Yelled Lt. Myers.

The Stalker looked back still holding his grip on the Brazilian’s throat.

“Get him out of there, and that’s an order” Barked Lt. Myers.

The paramedics that picked up Marco and rushed him to the hospital didn’t make eye contact with The Stalker. After being stabilized at ARH, Marco was flown to U.T. where he is recovering nicely although at the time of this writing, He’s still being fed though a tube and is not expected to be able to walk on his own till Christmas.

Paramedic #1: “Damn he beat the hell outta this guy”.
Paramedic #2: “Like he had a devil in him”.

Karla refused to go to the hospital. The Paramedic said that she might have a broken rib or two as well as a concussion and that she shouldn’t go to sleep in the next two hours. She also declined to press charges on Marco.

When the lawmen got outside the dialogue went like this:
Lt. Myers: “YOU ALMOST KILLED THAT BASTARD. WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU !!!”
The Stalker remained silent.
Lt. Myers: “What ever your problem is, you better fix it God Damn Skippy”.
The Stalker did not respond.
Lt. Myers: “What the %$$& am I going to tell Tom”?
Lt. Myers walked towards his cruiser and turning just before he got in yelled: “Don’t go back to the station. Take your ass to the house for the rest of the night. I don’t want to see you till tomorrow. And put your damn glasses back on”.

3 minutes later.

A sexy voice whispered into the night: “You want coffee”?
The Stalker does not eat or drink but he responded: “Yeah”.
She tried to sit at the kitchen table as they talked but the pain was too much. He helped her over to the couch where he covered her with a quilt.
“Why you stay with me now”? She asked.
“Making sure you are ok maam” He responded.
“You in trouble with boss”? She asked.
“I’ll probably get fired” He answered.
“Thank you. Marco think he own me”. She said.
“It’s almost daylight, I have to go maam”.
“I meet nice man but Marco no let me have life. I no see nice man no more”.
“It’s been over two hours now maam. you should be able to sleep”.

The Stalker pulled out of the driveway and moved slowly down Twin Fawn Trail into Happy Hollow. He couldn’t help but think to himself: “I wish I’d killed that son of a bitch now”.

As the sun light came over the Boro, Nickie laid on his back looking up at the ceiling. He was so tired he felt like he couldn’t breath. Sleep came quickly.

Monday July 15, 4:30 in the afternoon. Officer Capps made his final plea to Karla’s cell phone. When the “Beep” came all he said was: “I miss you”. The rest of the night was slow. So slow that all he had time to do was think about Karla. How do I make her see me again? How do I tell her who I am? How do I convince her that I want her?

When Daylight July 16th came, Officer Capps collapsed on his bed. He was weaker than he’d ever been. All he could think of was Karla. His breath was short. Sleep came fast but the questions didn’t stop coming in his mind.

July 16th 8:43 Pm. Officer Capps checked into duty at the Middlesboro Police department. It was exactly 15 minutes before he would transform into the feared one…The Night Stalker.

Dispatcher: “Hey Capps, take number 24, it’s got gas in it”.

Officer Capps drove out to the old Red Oak Church on the Beltline just in time to change. As the darkness fell, the transformation began. It was painful. Tonight was the night of the Full Moon. The night of the month when The Stalker is at his weakest. When Light invades the night The Stalker is not near as strong as his usual. The July “Full Buck Moon” is one of the brightest of the year. Weakness and pain now engulf The Stalker.

At 11: 41 P.M. The Stalker had had enough of the mental torture. He would go to her home and tell her the truth. “Let’s get it over with now” he thought.

Arriving at Karla’s home, The Night Stalker rapped on the door.
Karla: “Who there”?
The Night Stalker: “Maam it is the Middlesboro Police, I’d like to talk to you”.
Karla: “I no want talk, go away”.
The Night Stalker: “Maam please, let me talk to you”.
Karla: “You no come in, leave please”.
The Night Stalker: “Maam step away from the door”.
The Night Stalker stepped back and kicked the new oak door off the hinges sending it flying into the living room carrying most of the door jam with it.
Lady Karla screamed: “Please no hurt me” !!!
The Night Stalker: “Maam I am not here to hurt you” .
Lady Karla moved into the kitchen pleading: “No please, I no want you hurt me” .
The Night STalker continued to advance towards her saying: “Maam I just want to talk, I won’t harm you in any way”.
She backed herself onto the back porch and out into the pool area. She once again begged: “Please, Please you no hurt me”.
The Stalker responded: “Maam just listen, I’m not here to hurt you”.
Standing out by the pool, they stood about 5 feet apart. She said: “What you want”?
He responded: “I, you, me, I want you to…”
She moved closer to him and whispered: “What”?
He said: “If, you would , I think, please”…
She moved closer and gasped: “Tell me”
“I am Nickie” he let out like it was his last breath.
“I KNOW” She barked. “You so sweet” she whispered as she pushed him into the pool.

The Stalker came up out of the water soaking wet thinking of what had happened before, but to his surprise Lady Karla stood on the side of the pool holding a remote control.

“Now you will give me the rest of your soul”. She said laughing.

One touch of the button sent 2000 Volts of electricity through the pool water and into The Night Stalker. He rose up out of the water like a ball thrown up in the air and then fell back in. His red eyes rolled back in his head.

“You are one strong. I need you energy. I live long long after taking you life”. The Witch continued to rant.

Once again she hit the button and another 2000 volts of electricity ran though The Night Stalker’s Body. He wreathed and turned and lost consciousness. Floating on top of the water the Witch used a pole with a hook on it to drag him onto the concrete.

Snickering she said: “Now I touch you and pull your soul into mine. I own you. I live forever” .

Just as she finished her sentence and was about to knell down and take the Soul of The Night Stalker, the swoosh of a ninja sword came through the night. The beautiful Brazilian head rolled onto the concrete and fell in the pool with a splash.

“Not Tonight Bitch” Whispered Lola Sinn.

The Night Stalker woke up just before daylight and was able to make it home before the transformation. A body has not been found or even looked for. No report has come in. All we know at this point is a Claiborne County Deputy Sheriff saw something banana colored go down Highway 63 at well over 120 mph. Although almost dead,Nickie Capps had trouble sleeping.

The Dispatcher watched Chief Busic rumble in just before daylight.
“Do you ever sleep Tom”?
Chief Busic: “When did you make the coffee”?
Dispatcher: “The Tough guy never checked in last night”.
Chief Busic: “I’ll pay if you run out to Kroger and get some donuts”.
Dispatcher: “Tom, you just piss me off sometimes”.
Chief Busic: “Get some of those with the chocolate on em and hide em before Harvey gets here”.
Dispatcher: “Tom this is serious”.
Chief Busic handing the dispatcher 20 bucks: “Get a box of those microwave Jimmy Dean Sausage and Biscuits for us to. ”
Dispatcher: “I’ll just get a couple $$%%$*& gallons of ice cream also.”
Chief Busic: “Yeah that would be good”.

San Antonio Texas around 9 in the morning, in a run down house in a bad neighborhood ,a short Mexican man with greasy hair climbs the steps and enters where he meets an old man sitting in a high back chair.

“La Bruha no Sibli” (Translation: The Witch Didn’t work”)
Elderly Man: “Even the Queen of Hearts Can’t Kill him. What will”?
Mexican Man: “no Say” (Translation: I don’t know).

July 17th, 7:22 A.M just after daylight. Mamaw awoke from a dream. The Witch Was Dead. Mamaw rolled over on her right side and smiled. Harvey would get fried peach pies that afternoon.

Go Team Middlesboro!!!

For Carlos Santana’s “Black Magic Woman” Click Here

P.S. The Above is just fantasy unless you believe in Brazillian Witches, Night Stalkers and Dodge Challengers can be outrun. Hey, you never know .