SHERIFF’S REPORT: SPEEDSTERS, DISAGREEMENTS, & TEAM CID!

The young man was just trying to get home on Pond Creek when he hit a pothole, over negotiated and flipped upside down in backwater. Had he been knocked out, drowning would have been in order and possibly death. He was able to get out and hopefully became a better driver..

He had a craving that only freon from the PV pharmacy could quench. If the HVAC unit had to be damaged to get to the delicious gas, well, “so crak oooh, ding duck, squish me funny!”

Please speedsters, stop speeding on the following roads…12, 49, 41, 70, 249, 250, Robin Court, Eagle Pass and Bruce Bradley…(Not going to mention the road where bears used to wallow around)

DISAGREEMENTS OF THE WEEK OCCURRED AT: James Rd. between neighbors, Greenbrier Road because of a road rage. Rage resulting in suspected raging hormone or low testerone. Harpeth Meadows tempers spilled over as well when the “baby daddy” urinated on “baby mamas” clothes, later found to happen at an out of county Super 8 (Love always begins at the 8),. Red, the Rooster caught Henrietta the hen (from Henrietta) huffing on hentai hemp. A couple arguing on 49E over “who actually owns Henrietta and the hemp?”

Uh oh, BRANDY JACKSON was nabbed in a stolen vehicle on William Glenn Road…If Brandy stole a horse a few years back, ole man Glenn would have called his kinfolk over for some southern justice.

The gunshot wound victim was brought to the Ashland ER by his wife. He stated he accidentally shot himself at a friend’s house on “beerwillow?” but didn’t know the address or the friend’s name. CID went to some of the homes where beer was known to willow around. No blood but a suspicious dog with a righteous barking disposition and gunshot residue on its paws. Doggie revenge from a “man on dog” assault last week was suspected. (Some dogs don’t play)

CID ROCKS!…and have been working their tails off this week on a gala of crime scenes.The latest began with a knock on the door at Old Pinnacle. CHRIS YOUNG (1st pic), reluctantly opened up and the lies galloped out of the gate. A treasure trove of stolen items, such as heavy equipment, computers, cash, opioid drugs and lots of strange stuff indicated this guy has been busy for a while. Other out of county investigators joined in…GO TEAM CID!

Drug agents were investigating a suspected nasty narcotics house when they became involved in a pursuit Thursday night in northern Cheatham. Deputies from Montgomery and Robertson counties assisted. Two people fled their vehicle leaving four more with worried stares. APRIL WILLIAMS (2nd pic) was captured by a Montgomery K-9. DEVON JACKSON (3rd pic) who has previous warrants and now a few more, was able to elude deputies. If you have any information of JACKSON’S whereabouts, please call dispatch at 615-792-2098.

Have a safe weekend, try to kiss the blarney stone and do not drink alcohol on Saturday (yeah right)… At least don’t drink and drive TeamCheatham!

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