This is not going to be a short one. Settle in or go home. Adult language and Situations here. You’ve been warned.

The Joker:

7/14/2019, about noon. A black limousine comes through the tunnel and makes a left onto Cumberland avenue. When the limo reaches 17th street it makes a right and pulls over to the side and allows a 6 foot 4 muscular Chinese man to exit the back. The man puts a key in the door of an old warehouse and waves the driver on. 2 days later Master Wang Chung’s School of Martial Arts opens. The school does well and within a week it has over 100 students with many of them being the Chinese who work in the local restaurants.

7/22/2019 right around 3 in the afternoon. Officer Robin Venable (Rockin Robin) drives down 17th street and notices a large amount of cars parked outside an old ware house (Wang Chung’s School). He eases through the parking area and finds many of the vehicles to have out of state tags, mostly from Campbell County Tn. but a few more from Virginia and North Carolina. “Perhaps they are having some sort of regional meet” he thought and drove on.

7/25/2019 1:21 in the morning. The Big Quillie is on patrol and he notices several cars coming out on Cumberland Avenue from 17th Street. He wheels the cruiser around and makes the turn. He notices that the parking lot is emptying out of an old Ware House. Many of the cars have out of state tags. There is not much he can do at this point but watch and wonder. “I guess it was a poker game” he mused to himself.

7/27/2019 8:45 A.M. Officer Jeremiah Johnson (J.J.) turns down 17th street looking for a speeder that had gotten away. J.J. drives slowly making sure the culprit hasn’t hidden in among the old buildings. An 18 wheeler tractor and trailer with no markings on it is backed up to the bay of an old ware house. Several Chinese men are unloading what looks like restaurant equipment, lighting and countless boxes. J.J. lost the speeder but he didn’t forget what he’d seen.

7/27/2019. Saturday Night 9:28 P.M. It’s summer and Officer Christopher Barnes (The Big C.) is cruising down Cumberland Avenue with the windows down. As he’s passing Conley’s he hears loud music blasting with what sounds to be a D.J. talking. He makes a right on 17th street and finds himself parked in front of an old warehouse with a ton of cars in the parking lot. Big C. goes to the front door and attempts to turn the handle. It’s locked. He knocked. After about 2 minutes a slot on the door slid open and a set of Asian eyes looked out. 45 seconds later the door was opened by a large, not big, but really big Asian man about 7 foot 2 inches tall and built like the great wall. “Come in” said the voice of a small attractive Chinese woman.

Big C.: I am Officer Christopher Barns of the Middlesboro Police Department. The music seems to be very loud.
Chinese Lady: “We have licence” pointing at the City issued occupation licence on the wall.
Big C. : Yes maam I understand that but you can’t disturb your neighbors.
Chinese Lady: “We have Kung Fu tournament”.

At that moment a bell rung and the music stopped. The Big C. observed two men approach each other in an official sized ring raised in the middle of the ware house. Although the ceilings are 25 foot high you could see 3 to 4 feet of cigarette smoke lingering above. The smell of fried rice and egg foo young was almost more than one could bear. What looked like 200 people began to yell and scream at the top of their lungs as the boxing match went on. Large red Dixie cups were in almost everyone’s hands as well as scattered on the floors.

Chinese Lady: “We like Police, you hungry? I got nice shrimp with wobster sauce tonight”.
Big C.: “Ah no maam, but could you turn the music down please”?
Chinese Lady: “Yes we turn music down, you want egg roll to go”?

Since the lights were down during the action Big C. did not see the bet collectors and cocktail girls running through the crowd. A full bar was set up in the back and armed guards watched over the betting money. Business was good at Wang Chung’s. The round ended and a skinny Red headed girl from Lafollette in cut off shorts and tennis shoes walked around with a sign saying: “Round Six”.

7/31/2019 An ambulance pulls into an old warehouse on 17th street and hauls out a wounded fighter. This is the fourth one this week. Things are getting out of hand. The violence of the fights is getting worse. Not only is the hospital staff alarmed but the Police are going to have to put a stop to it.

8/1/2019 8:32 A.M. Detective Joe Holder has already done his home work. Wang Chung’s School of Martial Arts has no bank accounts in Bell or Claiborne counties. It seems all the funds collected are in cash. Joe relays this information to Chief Busic. It’s almost time to make a move. How did Detective Holder gain this information? Well, gossip among bank tellers runs faster than Joe does.

8/1/2019 11 A.M. in the morning. A call comes in to dispatch.
Asian voice: “We robbed. Need police”
Dispatcher after getting the address:”Yeah sure, we’ll have someone out there right away”.
Chief Busic: “Send Bradley”.
Dispatcher: “What you looking over my shoulder? Why Bradley”?
Chief Busic: “Make some fresh coffee”.

11:21 A.M. Officer Michael Bradley knocked on the steel door at the Wang Chung School of Martial Arts on 17th Street. The door is opened by a huge Chinese man that looks like he could swallow an alligator. The man says nothing. Officer Bradley AKA “Bruce Lee Bradley” enters the Martial Arts School.

A 6 foot 4 inch built like a rock, Master Wang Chung is running about 75 men and women through their daily exercises. Master Chung gives the order and all of them sit on their mats with backs straight looking attentive.

Officer Bradley: “Sir there was an attempted robbery”?
Master Wang Chung: “Someone want steal my school”.
Officer Bradley: “Can you explain it better to me sir”.
Master Wang Chung: “I hear someone want take my school away”.
Officer Bradley: “Sir I don’t know exactly what you mean”.
Master Wang Chung: “You know martial arts”?
Officer Bradley: “Sir I know something about martial arts but I’m not sure what you mean about stealing your school or who wants to do that”.
Master Wang Chung: HOOOYYY!!!
Five men in the font row of the school line jumped to their feet and into fighting stance.
Master Wang Chung: ARREE!!!

The five men encircled and attacked Officer Bradley. 34 seconds later they all lay unconscious or immobilized on the mat.

Master Wang Chung: “So you do know Kung Fu”!!!
Officer Bradley: Silent
Master Wang Chung: “You want school, you come take school on Saturday Night Midnight. We have big Kung Fu Tournament. You beat me, you get school.”

Officer Bradley said nothing. He turned and left. Had he called in back up and arrested the 5 students who he “disabled” he could have been accused of being “flashy” which got him in trouble before. The charges of assault on a police officer might not have gone well in the Bell County Court of “Always Let Em Go” especially when they are the one’s with all the injuries. You can’t stage a raid without a warrant and a lot of back up. In leaving, he did the right thing.

8/2/2019 3:41 in the afternoon. The only thing that travels faster than gossip in the Boro is…well, nothing travels faster than gossip in the Boro.

Dispatcher: “Tom you might as well leave now and enjoy your weekend birthday break. We can handle everything here.”
Chief Busic: “I’ll leave at 5 when I’m supposed to. I’m sure you boys will be ok during my time off”.

8/2/2019 4:47 P.M. Chief Busic crosses the parking lot. Gets in his personal vehicle and drives away.

Dispatcher on radio: “He’s gone, let’s do it”.

8/3/2019 7: P.M. It’s been a nice quiet morning and afternoon with not much crime going on. By now the bingo halls are wondering why they don’t have much business. The fast food joints are slow and even Walmart doesn’t have shoppers. 17th Street has more traffic than a new Meth dealer. Cars are lined up down Cumberland Avenue all the way to 24th Street West and 12th Street East. People are flooding into the Boro from Tennessee, West Virginia, North and South Carolina, Virginia, Georgia, Alabama, Mississippi and Florida like you were giving away free oxycodones. The MPD is on traffic control and not crime fighting duty. Chief Busic is away at the farm on Birthday Bash.

By 9 p.m. the warehouse, which now has been expanded to three floors, an outside patio, two full bars, a snack bar, big screen tvs, slot machines, poker tables and plush seating at ringside is almost packed. The drinks are flowing, the bets are coming in and the preliminary matches are going. Music is blasting. The place is rocking. Only a few really know what is about to happen.

10:30 P.M. Shift change isn’t until 11 but the back room is full of officers. Nobody is saying anything but it ain’t no secret. They are all ready to get over to the Wang Chung Martial Arts School to see the match. Big D. Buis, Big K., Motown, Bust’Em and Heard it all, were anxious.

10:45 P.M. a good looking bleach blond stripper out of Knoxville walks around the ring in a pink bikini and spiked high heals holding up a sign that says “Round 4”. Before she leaves the ring the spot light goes to the front door of the building and the announcer yells out: “LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, MICHAEL, BRUCE LEE, BRADLEY HAS ARRIVED”!!!. Six beautiful Asian women in mini skirts, heels and backless blouses rush to escort Mr. Bradley and his entourage to the dressing room. The Announcer screamed out again: “BACKED BY THE FINEST CORNER CREW IN THE AREA ….THE VENABLE BROTHERS”!!!

11:00 P.M. Now that the crowd knows the real fight is on, the betting booths are full. The bar is over run and the Chinese kitchen is cooking faster than a Meth head who just sold her EBT card. The Bleach Blond Bombshell in heels from Knoxville makes another lap around the ring with a sign that says “Round 6” and once again the spot light is aimed on the front door while the announcer yells out: “LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, HEAVY WEIGHT CHAMPION OWEN BECK IS IN THE HOUSE”!!!! Owen looks left and then right before two attractive Asian women take him by the arms and shuffle him into Bruce Lee Bradley’s dressing room. 6 Chinese guys start bringing in folding chairs and spreading them around on the patio as well as in between the aisles.

The next few minutes passed anxiously. During that time, many of the boys in blue slipped into the crowd without being recognized. It wasn’t that easy for The Big Bear Cowan. Being 9 foot tall, it makes it rather difficult to hide even if sitting in a seat. The Big Chinese guy at the door held him up a few mins just to give him that fighting man stare.

11:21 P.M. A particular Mrs. A. Jackson and her friend Ardella (2 Queens of Bingo) attempted to enter the school thinking that it was a late night bingo hall. The Big Chinese guy at the door told them that admission was a minimum of 125 Dollars. Well the two weren’t having that and started to walk away until Mrs. Jackson turned and said: “But wait, I’m a friend of the Joker and Lola Sinn”. A phone call was made. 5 minutes later an attractive Chinese lady was showing Mrs. Jackson and Ardella to a seat.

Ardella: “Hey, good deal girl”.
Mrs. Jackson: “And we’re right next to Motown Patterson. Want a gin and tonic”?
Ardella: “Yeah”.

11:45 P.M. The Night Stalker parked the clunker down the street and moved towards the Kung Fu School. 4 really fine Ebony Cougars out of Atlanta next to a brand new BMW were in town to get in on the action. Drinking a Hennessy and Coke while smoking Newports they watched him walk by.

Cougar #1: Gitchi, Gitchi Ga Ga Da Da
Cougar #2: Mocha Chocolata Ya Ya
Cougar #3: I’ll be lady Marmalade
Cougar #4: Voulez-vous coucher avec moi ce soir ?

11:49 P.M. The Big Quillie feels a bump in the back. Turning he sees The Night Stalker.

The Big Quillie: “Did you think I was gonna miss this”?
The Night Stalker: “No but we may end up looking for jobs tomorrow”.

12:04 A.M 8/4/2019. The Big Quillie and The Night Stalker get pushed aside. Lt. Eddie Myers (Mr. Serious) breaks in between them. He says: “Everyone in this building is going to jail when this is over.” The Big Quillie asks: “Does that include us”? Mr. Serious responds: “Don’t be a smart ass”.

12:09 A.M. The lights drop low and the announcer walks into the center of the ring and screams: “ARE YOU READY TO RUMBLE”!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The crowd goes wild with yelling and screaming. The betting booths still have lines. The girls can’t get the drinks and food out fast enough. Ardella had already finished her drink and ordered another.


The crowd screamed even louder and the betting lines got further backed up. The bar was pouring liquor faster than an Elk’s club convention and the kitchen was cranking like a Cracker Barrel on Sunday.


12:14 A.M. The Crowd is roaring. The Old warehouse feels like a jet landing zone.


Over in Lafollette they call Andre: “Communist Carmichael” because he didn’t want anyone to have anything except him.

12:18 A.M. Referee Kutucheckoff calls the combatants to the center of the Ring. It certainly was a site seeing the 5 foot 9 inch 170 pound Bruce Lee Bradley standing next to the 6 foot 4 inch 260 pound Chinese Master knowing that they were about to be locked in mortal combat.

At that moment, one of the attractive Asian hostesses said: “Excuse me please” to Lt. Edward Myers. Stepping aside The Hostess brought none other than Chief Busic in and down the aisle to his seat. The Big Quillie looked at Lt. Myers and said: “I guess you’ll get to be in the same cell with us now huh”? “Don’t be a smart ass”. The Lt. answered.

“What may I serve you sir”? asked the attractive Asian cocktail waitress.
Chief Busic: “I”ll have an order of the shrimp and lobster sauce, 2 egg rolls and a double Absolute and Soda with a lime”.
“Anything else sir”? she asked.
Chief Busic: “Yes, take a half dozen egg rolls and three large strong coffees and give it to those cops standing up there on the ledge. “Tell them: ‘Thank you for your service'”.
” Yes Sir. Thank you sir” She said as she left.

Meanwhile back at the station The Dispatcher has the music cranked up.

“It’s the eye of the Tiger”
“It’s the cream of the fight”
“Rising up to the challenge of our rival”
“As the last known survivor stalks his prey in the night”
“And he’s watching us all in…”
“The Eye Of The Tiger”…

Commie Carmichael: “Now this is a no holds barred match, so don’t expect me to call any fouls other than past time ones. When that goddamn bell rings I expect you to break it up. Got That”? If you’re outside of the ring you got to the count of 10 to return or lose the match. If you are unable to proceed I will count you out by the count of 3. Got that? Now if any of you use a foreign object such as a chair or anything like that you will be immediately disqualified. Otherwise, good luck to both of you”.

The two combatants returned to their corners. A Chinese guy was spraying water on the already heated up Wang Chung.

Randy Venable: “Now don’t move to fast. He’s carrying a lot of weight. Let him tire himself out. Stay Back and feel him out. We got all night”.


A customary bow was delivered and then Wang Chung went on as the aggressor. Bruce Lee circled at a fast pace with Wang Chung right behind. The crowd began to boo as Bruce Lee was obviously running from engagement. Finally Wang Chung got the proper angle on Bruce Lee. The engagement began with a hurl of big swings from the Chinese giant and a fury of quick Wing Chung punches from Bradley. They broke apart. Bradley hadn’t been touched. The Giant had been hit 14 times but to no avail. He wasn’t even phased. Points don’t matter in this match.

A few seconds later, Wang Chung had found the right attack angle and Bruce Lee had no choice but to engage. This time Bruce Lee was caught with a right hook to the temple stunning him. Master Chung then spin kicked caching Bruce Lee in the chest and sending him flying across the ring where he landed in front of his own corner. Commie Carmichael immediately dropped down and screamed 1,2 DING DING DING DING. Saved by the bell.

Bruce Lee was totally unconscious. The Crowd was screaming. Commie Carmichael looked at Master Chung and shook his head. Robin Venable threw a bucket of cold water on Bruce Lee while Brother Randy applied the smelling salts. Owen Beck had the water bottle. The Music Blared out.

“Everybody Have Fun Tonight”!!!
“Everybody Wang Chung Tonight”!!!

An undercover State Trooper who thought he’d been sent to investigate a cock fighting organization who was of course rooting for Bradley, thought to himself: “Oh Great, a Chinese Kung Fu Master with his own fucking theme song”.

Randy Venable: “Now I told ya to lay back. Don’t get too close, Let him burn himself out”.
Bruce Lee: “I consider running for my life laying back”.

A cocktail waitress was working her section and approaching a woman for an order when her eyes got wide and her jaw dropped open. IT WAS MAMAW!!!

Mamaw: “Now girl if you tell anyone I”m here, especially that asshole with the big light shining around then I will tell your momma about that boy from Jacksboro that picks you up three times a week.”
Cocktail Waitress: “I won’t, I swear Mamaw please don’t do that”.
Mamaw: “Bring me a double Scotch and water and not that cheap stuff. I’ll have two egg rolls too. They say they are real good.”.

Ding!!! Ding!!! The Bell Went Off.

Randy Venable was pulling the stool in from under Bruce Lee when Master Chung charged across the ring flying into a full kick attempting to end the match immediately. Bruce Lee was able to roll to the side and barely escape. Unfortunately the Kick went on through the ropes and caught 250 pound Owen Beck square in the chest sending him reeling out into the crowd six rows deep.

Egg Rolls, Shrimp and Lobster Sauce, Fried Rice, Egg Foo Young, Beef and Broccoli as well as enough Dixie Cups to fill a Walmart Shelf were scattered everywhere. Several Chinese guys with brooms and mops ran over to clean things up and calm the victims of Beck’s fall.

Owen got up realizing that he’d landed on a skinny guy wearing an Ole Miss Rebels T. Shirt. He attempted to pick up the unconscious man when a Lady wearing a Mississippi State Bull Dogs Jacket stopped him: “I been wantin to knock his ass out all night, so leave him be. I’ll take care of it”. Owen picked up a half eaten Egg Roll off a paper plate and returned to the corner thinking: “I could beat this bastard if they’d let me”.

Bruce Lee had narrowly escaped the Death Kick. Wang Chung continued the aggression chasing Bradley around the ring. Every attempt by Bruce Lee to throw a punch or kick landed him in the death zone of Master Chung. The larger man had the advantage. Bradley dropped to near floor level and attempted a leg sweep trying to bring the Giant down. All that was accomplished was that the Master was rooted in the mat. Seeing Bradley down the Master attempted to stomp him. Bruce Lee Rolled. Stomp, Stomp, Roll, Roll, Stomp, Roll. Finally Bradley had rolled himself out of the ring.

Commie Carmichael began the Count Immediately: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, Bruce Lee was looking for a spot to jump back in but the Giant was stalking him. 6, 7, 8, DING!, DING! Commie Carmichael threw his hands up. Master Chung was not happy. The crowd booed.

Bruce Lee rolled himself back into the ring where Randy Venable had put the stool. Master Chung was still standing in the middle of the ring. He screamed over at Bruce Lee: “Maybe you stop running we have fight. Maybe you pussy”. The newly worked out, almost back in fighting shape Rocking Robin Venable yelled back: “You’re lucky I’m not in there cause I’d kick your chop suey fat ass fast”!!! Master Chung stared back for a few more seconds before returning to his corner where the three Chinese men worked him over with water and massages.

On Aisle 14 of the first floor a cougar from out on Winchester Avenue sat. She was wearing a nice tight Red short spandex dress she’d recently ordered off Amazon. 3 inch heels she’d found at the Good will, some spray tan a fake coach purse and the best make up Walmart had in stock. She’d had her hair done today and all of her 48 year old body was looking about as good as it had in a while. A gentleman from North Carolina sat nearby and had no doubt noticed her leg rocking back and forth. “Keep it up, his wife said. I will leave your ass right here in Bumfuck Kentucky”. The gentleman turned his gaze away from the Cougar back towards the ring. The Asian Cocktail waitress sat a Margarita down in front of the Cougar. “I didn’t order this miss”. She said. “Gentleman order for you maam.”. Really now, which Gentleman? The Cougar inquired. The Cocktail waitress responded: “He say he The Night Stalker”. The Big Quillie was trying not to laugh.

Round 3

The Chinese Giant stops chasing. He stands in the middle of the ring and motions for Bruce Lee Bradley to bring it on. The Crowd boos and Bradley stands at a distance. Commie Carmichael looks at Bradley and says: “If you didn’t come to fight then surrender now and we can all go home. You can even go home with your life”.

The gap between the combatants begins to narrow. The crowd starts to scream. Bruce Lee launches a series of kicks and punches. For a second there Master Chung even appeared to be backing up until BOOM!!!! he caught Bradley with another big right hook sending him reeling. As Bruce Lee came off the ropes the big man caught him and threw him to the other side of the ring where he rolled. While he attempted to gain his footing the Giant hooked Bradley’s arm again and slung him to the other side of the ring. He turned to the crowd to gloat for a moment. The Crowd screamed like a herd of Banshees. Officer Bradley was on the mat, out of breath and holding on to consciousness. Master Chung climbed to the top rope.

With the crowd screaming, The Chinese Giant launches himself like a Tomahawk missile towards Bruce Lee Bradley. Owen Beck yells: “Elijah Razzzzz Clot”!!! Just before touchdown Bradley rolls out of the ring and onto the concrete. Boom!!! The giant lands. With Master Chung slowly regaining his feet from his fall, Commie Carmichael has already began the count on Bradley. 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, The Crowd is louder than ever. 6, 7, 8, Ding! Ding! Ding! the bell rings. Bradley is saved again.

As Rockin Robin Venable is helping Bruce Lee Bradley to his feet and back to the corner The Big Quillie whose on his third egg roll with soy sauce on his shirt looks at The Night Stalker and says: “We’re fucked”.

Randy Venable was applying the smelling salts. Owen Beck was forcing water down Bradley’s throat. Chief Busic and Mamaw had ordered their third drink when the announcer screamed: “LADIES AND GENTLEMEN SENSEI RANDY EARLE IS IN THE HOUSE”!!!

2 beautiful Chinese girls locked the arms and led Sensei Earle under spotlight down to the front row behind Bradley’s corner. The Chinese lady hostess ran over to a Mexican guy sitting in the front row and said: “You must get up, Sensei Earl Here”.

Mexican Guy: “I paid 375 Dollars for this seat and I’ve lost 2700 gambling here tonight.
Chinese Lady: “Oh…why you no say so?…I send you to bar with free drinks and food. I have nice shrimp and wobster sauce”.
Mexican Guy hesitates.
Chinese Lady: “And I send two nice girls love you long time”.
Mexican Guy: “Oh…Why you no say so”?

Round 4

After the bell rings Master Chung has come across the ring quickly trying to cut off any escape route to Bradley. They move left and then they move right. The dance goes on until they have closed ranks. Bradley is now trapped in his own corner. The Chinese Giant moves in with a hard right hand. Bruce lee drops to the floor and rolls between the legs of the Giant into the middle of the ring. The hard right hand strikes the turn buckle. Ouch!!! The Giant’s momentum has moved him right up into the face of Randy Venable. The two stand nose to nose.

Master Chung: “Soon I kick your ass too”.
Randy Venable: “Really”?

Randy reared his head back and placed a head butt on the Chinese Giant that could almost be heard above the screams of the crowd. When Master Chung turned and staggered towards the middle of the ring, Bruce lee let lose with a hail of punches. Master Chung was stunned and moving backwards towards the ropes. Bradley continued his assault. The Chinese Giant hit the ropes and rebounded back into Bruce Lee grabbing him and raising him high above the Giant’s head. Bruce Lee was slammed down into the mat with unbelievable force. Bradley lay still, he was now immobilized.

Master Chung was visibly stunned from the headbutt and punches. He staggered to his corner where his crew urged him on to finish off Bradley. Just as he came near enough to the disabled Bradley he fell on his ass in the middle of the ring, dizzy as a blond on the Tilt-A-Whirl. Ding! Ding! Ding! the bell went off.

With hope now showing some light, Mamaw, Chief Busic, Ardella , Mrs. Jackson as well as a lot of folks including a State Trooper all ordered another drink. An additional Margarita was placed down in front of the Cougar from out on Winchester Avenue. The Big Quillie snickered while he finished the last egg roll.

The Chinese crew came forward and helped Master Chung back to his corner. Water, grease and massages as well as encouragement was given. The Music was blasting: “Everybody Wang Chung Tonight”.

Owen Beck lept over the top rope and pulled Bruce Lee Bradley by his feet to the corner where Rockin Robin doused him with a bucket of cold water while Randy Venable applied the smelling salts. Once Bradley regained consciousness Sensei Randy Earle stepped forward.

Sensei Earle: “You must find your Chi”.
Bradley: “I can’t see out of my left eye, I couldn’t find the bathroom”.
Sensei Earle: “You must work the body of the giant. Bring the tree down from it’s roots”.
Bradley: “It ain’t that easy”.
Sensei Earle: “Let us not go home in shame”.

Ding! Ding!

Round 5

Once again the revived Master Chung continued his aggressive attack. Bradley was still on the run. With the angle cut off the Chinese Giant closed in. Bradley moved into the engagement using hand strikes to the ribs and kidneys as Sensei Earl had suggested but to no avail. Bradley was picked up like a rag doll and hurled across the ring.

The Giant quickly moved to the other side of the ring where Bradley was attempting to gain his footing. Bang!!! a hard right hand met Bradley’s head knocking him down onto the mat. The Giant picked Bradley up and holding him by the throat placed a straight jab to his face causing his nose to break and blood to fly from his lips. The Giant let go of Bradley causing him to fall almost lifeless onto the mat.

Master Wang Chung turned to the Crowd waving his arms up and down. The Crowd responded with cheers and screams. Commie Carmichael ran over to start the Count…1, 2, Before Andre could get to the magic number The Chinese Giant grabbed his hand, Pulled him up from the mat and hurled the Russian across the ring to the other side where he landed on the turnbuckle stunned and down.

Master Chung picked Bruce Lee Bradley’s almost lifeless body up and held it over his head displaying it to all corners of the arena. Finally he moved towards Bradley’s corner with the intention of flinging him out into the crowd. Owen and Robin held their arms up in a futile attempt to try and catch Bradley. It was over.

“I avenge my cousin Chiang Tzu now”. Said Master Chung.

Suddenly Bruce Lee Bradley spun causing the Master to lose his grip. Bradley’s legs wrapped around the giant’s neck. Using the giant’s own force against him Bradley fell forward driving Master Chung’s head directly into the mat with his own weight behind the blow. BOOM!!! The Chinese Giant was knocked unconscious.

Officer Bradley lay on the mat motionless. Randy Venable was screaming: “Make the pin”!!! “Make the Pin”!!! Bruce Lee managed to get to his hands and Knees and hurl himself on top of The Chinese Giant. The Arena went silent.

It took a whole ten to 30 seconds before somebody started the chant: “Start The Count”!!! “Start The Count”!!!

You could see an elderly woman in a house dress and apron with her hair up in a bun down at the ring shaking Commie Carmichael and pointing across the ring. The woman was using language that well…we aren’t going to print here.

Commie Carmichael who now don’t want Master Chung to have a damn thing crawls on his hands and knees across the ring. With all he’s got left in him he yells: “1, 2, 3”. The Crowd goes wild.

Meanwhile back at the cop shop the dispatcher holding his hands above his head and strutting around the office just cranked up the volume:

“We are the Champions”
“We are the Champions”
“No time for losers cause ”
“We are the Champions …my friend”.

Rockin Robin Venable pulled the ropes apart and ran into the ring grabbing up Bruce Lee Bradley and carrying him around the ring screaming: “We did it”!!! Randy Venable was right behind Robin in pursuit. “Robin, damn it, he’s got to go to the hospital, he don’t need another beating”. Owen Beck was dancing to the Music that blared: “It’s a long way to the top if you wanna rock and roll”. Sensei Earl ordered 2 egg rolls and a Canadian Club and coke.

The Chinese crew picked up Master Chung and got him into a limo where he could be taken to U.T. Hospital for his neck injury.

Randy Venable forced Brother Robin and Owen Beck to take Bruce Lee to the hospital.

I approached Randy Venable as he was leaving the ring.

Me: “Randy, now, what’s your thoughts on this tough match”?
Randy: “Tough? Whatta ya mean, we had this from the get go. Nobody comes into our town and makes a challenge”.
Me: “Mr. Venable, as a former fighter, I don’t know how you can really say that considering that Bradley is on his way to the hospital”.
Randy: “I can say that cause I knocked your old ass out once and I can knock it out again”.
Me: “There you have it folks, Corner Boss Randy Venable has spoken”.


Mamaw who was in the line to collect on her bets carrying an Egg Foo Young to go said to herself: “That son of a bitch and his spot light”.

The Cougar from out on Winchester approached The Night Stalker. She said: “I certainly do appreciate the drinks sir.” The Night Stalker Responded: “I, you, I mean, Well”. The Cougar said: “Maybe you should drop by some time on your nightly patrols. I do stay up late”. The Cougar slipped a paper with her cell phone number on it into The Night Stalker’s Hand. He already knows the address. “Once again, thank you and I’d like to see you soon”. She said as she and her spiked heels walked into the parking lot. “Keep looking you son of a bitch” said a North Carolina Wife to her husband.

The Big Quillie was leaving when he came across an elderly woman in a 98/98 Olds counting money. It appeared she was shuffling 100 dollar bills faster than a machine in a bank. The Big Quillie knocked on the window. An elderly woman in a house dress with her hair up in a bun rolled the window down. The smell of scotch permeated the air. “Have you been drinking maam”? asked The Big Quillie. The elderly woman answered “No of course not, no more than you’ve been at an illegal gambling joint, eating food out of an outlaw kitchen, watching an illegal boxing match while you’re supposed to be patrolling the streets”. The Big Quillie thought for a moment and said: “Ah Yeah, well maam have a nice evening”. Mamaw answered: “Follow me home to make sure I”m safe. Don’t be a smart ass”.

You see, Master Chung was a 23 to 1 favorite. In other words, if you bet 100 on Bradley you got back 2400 dollars. Sweet huh?

8/4/2019 9:31 A.M. Chief Busic comes in the back door of the Police Station. The Dispatcher looking surprised meets him and says: “Hey Tom, I thought you were going to take another day off. Would you like a fresh cup of coffee with some of that Almond Joy Sweet Cream”?

Chief Busic looks around and sees a nice fruit tray, 3 boxes of donuts from Food City with sprinkles and eclairs, about 15 sausage biscuit sandwiches from Hardies, 6 Breakfast Burritos from Taco Bell, several Danish from Walmart, bananas, orange juice, a loaf of bread and two packages of all beef bologna,bagels and cream cheese, chips and dip, not 1 but 2 new coffee makers with a pound of Starbucks as well as Seattle’s Best coffee standing near instead of the usual Foldgers. “Yeah, I’ll have some coffee thank you” answered the Chief.

The Dispatcher was prancing around like a College kid about to go to his first Topless Bar. Chief Busic inquired: “How’d it go last night”?

Dispatcher: “Ah, it was quiet as a mouse, no real action at all. One lady thought her power was out but it was just a blown breaker”.
Chief Busic: “I see. Where’d all this food come from”?
Dispatcher: “Ah yeah, it was, yeah, from the Church out in Noetown, they came in early and gave it to us”.
Chief Busic: “I see, now which Church was that again”?
Dispatcher: “Yeah, it was that one, the Church of the Holy Body and Bread, I mean spirit ah yeah the red one on Noetown road”.
Chief Busic: “I see, well I hope you thanked em”.
Dispatcher: “oh yeah I thanked em”.
Chief Busic: “Anything else going on”?
Dispatcher: “Ah well, we’ve had two call in today”.
Chief Busic: “yeah”?
Dispatcher: “Ah, Venable and Bradley, they both got that flu that’s going around. I told em to stay home least they give it to the rest of the boys. Bradley has it bad, might be out for several days”.
Chief Busic: “Well, no big deal, you can go out on patrol till 2 . I”ll watch the Dispatch”.
Dispatcher: “Ah Tom, I”m worn out from last night and at my age I don’t think I can handle staying up that late”.
Chief Busic: “You said it was really slow last night”.
Dispatcher: “Ah, well, I mean, You, I think…”
Chief Busic: “Tell Quillie and Capps they have to stay till noon”.
Dispatcher: “I already did that”.

8/5/2019 10:34 A.M.

A man in a black suit enters through the front of the Police Station. He identifies himself as an FBI agent and asks to speak to Chief Busic.

FBI Agent: “Chief are you aware that there is an illegal gambling establishment running here in your town backed up by “The Tong” the Chinese Mafia.
Chief Busic: “There is no Chinese Mafia operating in this town at this time”.
FBI Agent: “Chief Busic we have on film, 2 city council members from Georgia, a state Representative from Florida, 6 police officers from West Virginia, as well as judges, politicians, public servants and even an assistant to a governor from several states surrounding you, at a large gathering involving an illegal death match right here in your town on Saturday night”.
Chief Busic: “No Chinese Mafia operations are going at this time in this town”.
FBI Agent: “Chief I’m trying to make this easy on you. The majority of your staff as well as yourself were also caught on video at the illegal death match”.
Chief Busic: “Once again, all those issues have been cleared up and no Chinese Mafia is operating at present”.
FBI Agent: “Chief, the KY State Police are also looking into this. I don’t know how you can say there is no more problem. Have you staged a raid”?
Chief Busic: “Nah, but it’s all over. You can go to the ware house and see that it is empty”.
FBI Agent: “How”?
Chief Busic: “Officer Michael Bradley”.
FBI Agent: “The one in the death Match? Are you saying his defeat of The Chinese Master in a fair fight embarrassed The Tong and forced them to leave”?
Chief Busic: “That is their custom”.
FBI Agent: “A brilliant stroke of police work. Saving the Taxpayers money. Lucky for you he survived”.
Chief Busic: “Want a fresh cup of coffee with some of that Almond Joy sweet Cream and a danish”?
FBI Agent: “Sure, can I talk to Officer Bradley”?
Chief Busic: “He’s out with that bad flu that’s going around. It might be several days before he returns”.

Go Team Middlesboro!!!

P.S. The poor Mexican guy that thought he was gonna get two beautiful Asian girls with his seat change ended up with two skinny red heads from Lafollette. Oh well, they loved him “long time”.

P.S.S. Randy Venable won’t be seen for awhile. They said he caught that bad flu that was going around . In actuality he had a real nasty bump on his forehead and a headache.

The Above is a mere fantasy out of the mind of a madman. It is not to be taken seriously. It is only for entertainment purposes.

The Musical Credits Are:

Lady Marmalade By Patti Labelle Click Here

“Eye of the Tiger” by Survivor Click Here

Everybody Have Fun Tonight By Wang Chung Click Here

“It’s a long way to the top if you wanna Rock and Roll” By ACDC Click Here

“We Are The Champions” By Queen Click Here

For The Chiang TZU story “Everybody Was Kung Fu Fighting” Click Here


“The following article is based on open and public records from the Middlesboro Police Department as well as The Bell County Detention Center Website and is written in the style of satire as an opinion piece not associated or based on the opinions of The Polygraph News, Incorporated—it’s founders, owners or staff.”