UPDATE: From The Bell County Sheriff’s Department

On Monday June 3, 2019 Bell County Deputy Jacob Perry served a warrant on 28 year old Leanna Napier of Evarts on a failure to appear in court warrant. Initially Ms. Napier was arrested on a Methamphetamine charge by Middlesboro Police Officer Nick Capps and gave him a different name. She was later found to have nine outstanding bench warrants which were executed at the Bell County Detention Center where she is currently being held without bond.

The Joker:

6/2/19 6 P.M. in the evening. Officer Nicholas Capps comes on duty. Those of you who follow these writings know that Officer Capps lost Christine during last month’s full moon to a Mexican hit man known as “The Recycle Man”. He’s really having a rough time. The sleepless times, the quilt and the anger, oh how the anger has engulfed him. His work life is suffering. His social life is suffering (As if The Night Stalker has much of a social life) and his health is suffering. It’s like a dark cloud hangs over him and the more he tries to shake it off the more it rains.

6/2/19 the last few minutes of daylight are lingering over the Crater. Officer Capps who is now driving one of the clunkers that belongs to the city sits silently in what he thinks is a hidden location, awaiting the darkness when he will no longer be the emotional one living with this pain. When the transformation comes, Officer Capps will become the one that is feared by criminals throughout the area. The one that feels little pain, runs like the wind, sees in the dark, has the strength of several men and rules the darkness…THE NIGHT STALKER.

6/3/19 1:55 A.M. The Night Stalker initiates a traffic stop of a 2001 Black Toyota Pickup with Tennessee Tags. Listen, word gets around in the mountains. Folks know what happened with the Mexican Drug Dealer and Christine being gone. They also know that The Stalker has been absent since then. When all of a sudden, the blue lights behind you are bringing the one nobody wants to see, it runs a chill up your spine.

The Stalker: “Licence and registration sir”.
The Driver, Mr. Michael McFall: “Ah yeah man sure, here it is”.
The Stalker: “Permission to search the vehicle sir”?
Mr. McFall looking up at The Stalker: “Sure man, go ahead”.

Everything seemed fine until the passenger, Ms. Napier of Harrogate and sometimes other places, was acting “extremely nervous”. Oh come on now, everybody is “extremely nervous” around The Stalker. Even I get nervous writing this. Anyhow, The Stalker gets to look in Ms. Napier’s purse and bingo, the usual shows up, some weed and some meth.

Well it gets better yet. Ms. Napier tells The Stalker that her first name is “Paula”. I guess her name didn’t really matter, she was still going to jail. So, when they get down to the Pineville, late night druggie lodge, and The Stalker escorts Ms. Napier in, the jailer crew scattered like hens when the Rooster shows up.

Jailer 1: “Dude, go out there and check him in”.
Jailer 2: “You do it, he looks like he’s mad as hell”.
Jailer 1: “I know but we’ve got to take care of this”.
Jailer 2: “Ok, but you have back me up”.

The Stalker sat Ms. Napier down and began to fill out the paper work. The jailers stood back about 10 feet watching. The Stalker looked at Ms. Napier and asked: “What’s your first name”. She responded “Paula”. The STalker said: “no it’s not, now tell me your name”. Ms. Napier remained silent. The STalker looked at the jailers and did something that he seldom ever does. He took off his sun glasses revealing the glowing red eyes and said: “Go find out who she really is”.

The two jailers turned to go back to the computer room and bumped into each other. It took a little while but the two boys came back with goods. Ms. “Paula” Napier was actually, Ms. “Leanna” Napier. Pretty as she is, and you can’t say she’s not pretty, her charges just got bumped up substantially. Besides the possession of Meth and Weed, she had 9 Bell County Bench Warrants. JACKPOT!!!.

Ms. Leanna Napier is still lodged at the time of this writing in the Bell County Detention Shack, with about 16,500.00 “Cash” bonds on her as well as several charges with No Bonds listed.

Yes, I know you’re waiting for the punch line. She does have a previous record in Bell County including but not limited to:

Bench Warrant X3
DUI X1
No Insurance X1
Suspended Licence X1
Drug Paraphernalia X1
Illegal Possession of Legend Drug X1
Trafficking in Methamphetamine X1

The moral of the story here is: “Don’t lie to The Night Stalker”.

As we’ve already told you, there is a crisis inside a crisis going on with The Night Stalker. Let us hope that his anger does not overtake his logic. The citizens of Middlesboro need him now more than ever with the crime wave overwhelming the city. If not for The Night Stalker, as well as the rest of the Swarm, the city would be helpless in dealing with the criminal element.

Mr. Night Stalker, if you are listening sir, your fans badger me constantly to keep them informed of your adventures. Yes, we know you aren’t as lovable as “Harvey” but nevertheless, it is you that battle the evil like no other. We, your fans, want you to know, that we are with you, in heart, spirit and mind. Hang in there, we need you. With you around, our fears subside. Thank you for your service.

Go Team Middlesboro!!!

For The “Recycle Man” Story Click Here

P.S. Now, making fun of the jailers is common stock with me, but let’s get a bit serious here. The deputy jailers get paid shit for the jobs they do. It’s a @#@#$%^ shame that the county puts these men and women in danger by having them deal with the lowest forms of life this side of Hell and offers them bologna sandwiches and beer money. The Jailer himself gets a damn fair salary to live in a Po-Dunk county where property prices are at bottom but his workers get the shaft. How about a look at that county budget again. Next time your voting for your favorite magistrate why not ask them if they would vote for a raise for the Deputy jailers. Let’s see what they say.

Thank You Deputy Jailers.

P.S.S.

I would like to thank all of those that sent me wonderful emails and messages this week threatening to remove my body parts and so on. Let us both remember. You are only angry. I am clinically insane.

Caio.

 

 

Disclaimer:
“The following article is based on open and public records from the Middlesboro Police Department as well as The Bell County Detention Center Website and is written in the style of satire as an opinion piece not associated or based on the opinions of The Polygraph News, Incorporated—it’s founders, owners or staff.”