The Joker:

Today (2/18/19) around 10:30 in the morning, a Goodwill employee is taking the trash out when he hears an awful ruckus coming out of the dumpster. The man figures that it could be a raccoon or perhaps a dog that was able to get inside. Upon looking inside the dumpster the noise stopped and nothing seemed out of the ordinary. The man tossed in a couple trash bags and began to return to the store when the noise began again. The man turned and once again looked inside…nothing, and the noise stopped. Once again the man started back towards the store when the sounds roared out of the dumpster even louder. The man went to get the manager.

The Manager with another lady and the gentleman returned to the dumpster where it sounded like a Ted Nugent concert was going on inside. The manager looked inside and the noise stopped and nothing looked strange. They closed the door and the noise began again even louder. The Manager was as perplexed as the employees so they called the MPD.

When the dispatcher answered the call from the Goodwill manager who was obviously upset, the dispatcher said: “Calm Maam, be calm, we are sending our most experienced man in these matters out there.” In less than 5 minutes Officer H. Johnson (Harvey) entered the parking lot. After finishing the last of his breakfast burrito, Harvey entered the building and encountered the employees. Once they saw Harvey they charged, all of them screaming and talking at him until Harvey yelled: “Quiet !!!, I GOT THIS !!!”.

So Harvey went out the back door towards the dumpster with about 10 Goodwill employees in tow. One lady who was afraid to go out stayed inside to watch the counter. The customers had no clue what was going down.

As they approached the dumpster it sounded like AeroSmith had joined the Ted Nugent Concert. The noise was almost deafening. All the cats, and raccoons had run off into the woods. The Goodwill crew stayed back while Harvey walked up to the side of the dumpster and pounded on the side with three hard “thumps”. The noise immediately stopped. Harvey then yelled: “Come out of there Chelsie, you’re going to jail”. A squeaky little voice replied: “Harvey, I don’t want to go to jail”.

Harvey walked up again to the side of the dumpster and rapped on it three loud times and repeated: “Chelsie come out of there now !!!” The door slid open but no one could see if anyone was there. The sounds of some rustling around and a “bang” on the side of the dumpster was heard. The Goodwill folks just took a few steps back and couldn’t really believe what they were seeing or not seeing. Harvey spoke again: “Now Chelsie, don’t make me call the K-9.” About 20 yards away a young girl appeared out of thin air and screamed: “HARVEY I DON’T WANT TO GO TO JAIL!!!”. Harvey stayed calm and said: “Chelsie, if you don’t go with me to jail, then the Night Stalker will find you after dark (X-ray and Heat Seeking Vision). The young girl was crying and yelled back: “Harvey No !!! Not The Night Stalker Please !!!”. Harvey said: “Chelsie it’s cold out here and when I get you to Pineville you can warm up and get something to eat” and besides, it’s almost lunch time and I don’t want to miss the special at Wendy’s.

The young girl approached Harvey and turned her back allowing him to put the cuffs on without incident. He led her around to the cruiser with all of the Goodwill employees watching. As soon as she got in the back she went invisible again before any smart ass could snap a photo on their phone.

On the way down to Pineville the dialogue went like this:

Harvey: Chelsie I know your back there, I can hear you crying.
Chelsie: Harvey I hate Jail.
Harvey: You’ll be out in a couple days. You’ll get your clothes washed, warmed up and a few good meals.
Chelsie: “Bullshit Harvey !!!”
Harvey: Well it’s better than being in a dumpster.

25 year old Chelsie Hensley was booked into the Bell County Jail and charged with:

Bench Warrant For Court
Public Intoxication Controlled Substance

Her bond is listed as 115.00 on the warrant and ROR on the Public Intoxication Charge.

This is not Chelsie’s first ride to the Pineville Center for bad decisions. Her past charges include but are not limited to:

Criminal Trespass X2
Assault 4th Degree X1
Disorderly Conduct X2
Non-Support X3
Bench Warrant X3
Bench Warrant Other Agency X2
Probation Violation X1
Public Intoxication X2
Resisting Arrest X1

As you can see Ms. Hensley is not exactly eligible for a Bonnie Parker Award Nomination. She’s just another lost soul in the system. She had a rough childhood. None of the kids would play “hide and seek” with her because of her abilities. She had a hard time understanding that as a child. When adults started yelling, it was just easy to “disappear” instead of face the music. Sometimes blessings are a curse you know.

At present Chelsie is chilling in the woman’s block down at the Jail. She obviously misbehaved again during the mug shot picture (Can’t say I blame her). She got there in time for lunch and we hope the supper was at least decent. Reports are coming in that she does creep out the rest of the girls there with the constant invisibility routine. Let’s hope she don’t decide to “self parole” because then Harvey and The Night Stalker would have to chase her down.

Thank you Harvey for doing the right thing with Chelsie. Yes, we know she’ll be back out in a couple days. Let us all hope she finds a better place to stay than a dumpster.

Go Team Middlesboro !!!

The Invisible Girl Click Here


For those that doubt some screen shots…

“The following article is based on open and public records from the Middlesboro Police Department as well as The Bell County Detention Center Website and is written in the style of satire as an opinion piece not associated or based on the opinions of The Polygraph News, Incorporated—it’s founders, owners or staff.”