The Joker:

“Hail, Hail, The Gangs All Here”. This one is a bit confusing because it seems everyone is involved in the arrest of the following. Let’s just go with and see how it turns out.

8/4/19 at 3 P.M. Detective Joe Holder arrests Mr. Billy Hughett of Middlesboro on a criminal complaint warrant for Trafficking in “Controlled Substance” X2. Mr. Hughett was taken down to the Pineville Lounge for Drug Dealers and placed under a 1500.00 Dollar “Cash” Bond. He was released the following day.

Moving right along, on 8/4/2019 just before 1 in the morning, over on Exeter and 28th Street, a particular lady whose name we won’t mention, said that she was in a “Sexual Relationship” with a certain James H. Fuston and he had “choked her while she was on the ground and also pulled her hair”. Well, when The Big K. Vanover (Kenny) pulled up in the drive to rescue the damsel in distress, Mr. Sexy took off running down the street. In only a few minutes he ran into J.J. (Officer Jeremiah Johnson) who put the cuffs on him faster than you can pull back the bed covers, but not without him threatening and making attempts to resist.

Anyhow, Mr. Fuston was rolled on down to the Pineville Center for Sexy inmates and charged with:

Fleeing or evading police 2nd Degree (On Foot)
3 Bench Warrants For Court
Terroristic Threatening 3rd Degree

Mr. Fuston is still chillin in Pineville with about 3500.00 mostly “Cash” in Bonds on him. Before you ask, well of course he has a prior history of arrests including but not limited to:

Bench Warrant X1
Criminal Abuse of a child X1
Hindering Prosecution or apprehension X1
Assault X1

8/3/2019 about 2 P.M. in the afternoon, J.J. arrests Mr. George Kelly Duncan of Middlesboro and charges him with Burglary 3rd Degree. Apparently Mr. Duncan was accused of stealing power tools from another residence on Chester Avenue and those tools were found inside Mr. Duncan’s home on 30th street. So what else is new with George? Mr. Duncan was taken down to the Pineville School for Career Criminals where he still resides under a 10k “Cash” Bond. You see George would steal a hot stove and go back for the smoke. His past charges include but are not limited to:

Receiving Stolen Property X1
Suspended Licence X2
No Insurance X2
Contempt of Court X3
Burglary 2nd Degree-Forced Entry-Residence X1
Drug Paraphernalia X1
Burglary 2nd Degree X1
Persistant Felony Offender X1
Probation Violation X2
Assault X1
Theft X3
Burglary 1st Degree X1
Possession of Handgun by convicted Felon X2
Possession of Marijuana X2

The Big K Vanover and Joe Holder as well as “Heard it all” Hurd assisted in the arrest. least George try to “Steal Away”.

7/29/2019, about 8:30 P.M. Our Man Harris (Joshie) arrests Mr. Clifford Williams of Middlesboro over on 35th and Exeter. It seems Mr. Williams has not followed up on court orders and also has a bit of Methamphetamine on him. He’s 50 years old and perhaps getting a wee too old for this shit. Anyhow, he’s rushed down to the Pineville Criminal Turnstile and booked in charged with:

Bench Warrant For Trafficking (Meth)
Bench Warrant for Possession (Meth)
Possession of Meth
Trafficking In Meth X2

Now for the part you’ve been waiting for and remember, nobody but me does this for you baby, His past charges include but are not limited to:

Bench Warrant Other Agency X1
Bench Warrant X2
Manufacturing Methamphetamine X1
Probation/Parole Violation Warrant X1
Trafficking In Methamphetamine X3
Suspended Licence X1
Possession of Methamphetamine X1

Now Joe Holder backed up “Our Man Harris” on this one in case anyone decided to run. As you know, out running Joe Holder ain’t easy.

Just another few days in the lives of our boys in Blue. Thank God We Got Them.

Thank you for your service Boys.

Go Team Middlesboro!!!

“The following article is based on open and public records from the Middlesboro Police Department as well as The Bell County Detention Center Website and is written in the style of satire as an opinion piece not associated or based on the opinions of The Polygraph News, Incorporated—it’s founders, owners or staff.”