7/11/19 right at supper time, Dispatch receives a call reporting a wanted criminal out on 30th Street. Now I would never give up sources but in this case everyone of you knows who made the call…”Mamaw”. Mamaw don’t like criminals, low lifes, scum bags and baby killers. She turns em in at ever chance. Recently Officer H. Johnson (Harvey) pulled Mamaw over in her 98 Olds and while they were talking about Sunday Dinner Harvey observed the handle of a pistol sticking out of the top of Mamaw’s dress (Bosoms). The dialogue went like this:
Harvey: “Mamaw is that a gun in your dress”?
Mamaw: “Harvey it is a 32 caliber that I’ve carried for years”.
Harvey: “Mamaw is there any other weapons in the vehicle”?
Mamaw: “Harvey I have my 38 special in my apron”.
Harvey: ” Wow, that is a lot of weapons”.
Mamaw: “I also have a 9MM in my purse, a 357 Magnum under the seat and my long barrel 44 in the glove box”.
Harvey: “Sheesh Mamaw what are you afraid of”?
Mamaw: “Well not a damn thing child”.
Needless to say Mamaw had more gun permits than the NRA and besides that Harvey wouldn’t dare question her. Mamaw don’t mess around. The only reason she let Harvey stop her was because she thought he wanted to come by for lunch that week.
Anyway, back to the story, The dispatcher is sort of in a quandary with the call. You see, everyone is busy and it’s near shift change. The boys want to go home but one can’t miss the window of opportunity to take in a criminal.
Dispatcher: “Tom you’re going to have to tell The Big Bear that he’s got to go out on 30th Street and serve a warrant”.
Chief Busic: “Send the New Guy Franklin”.
Dispatcher: “Tom, that’s bullshit, he’ll think you’re picking on him”.
Chief Busic: “This coffee is as old as shit”.
Dispatcher: “Tom, now these criminals can turn into violent perpetrators in a heart beat and the new guy ain’t familiar with things around here”.
Chief Busic: “We really need a new coffee maker”.
Chief Busic: “He’s a cop ain’t he”?
Officer Jonathan Franklin is, as Chief Busic said: “A Cop”, in fact he was a patrolman in Cumberland Kentucky for a while. Any of you that know anything about Cumberland know that one can be safer in a fire fight in Iraq than in Cumberland on a Saturday Night. Officer Franklin ain’t exactly a rookie. As bad as Bell County is, they invented Red Neck Hell up in Harlan, Perry and Leslie Counties. Officer Franklin brings that knowledge with him.
Upon arrival at the address on 30th street, Officer Franklin made the arrest on Justin R. Davis of Middlesboro.
Mr. Davis: “Who you”?
Officer Franklin: “Put your hands behind your back”.
Mr. Davis: “And if I won’t”?
Officer Franklin: Blank Doc Holiday Harlan County stare like: “Say when”.
Mr. Davis got a free ride down to the Pineville Center for Those With Bench Warrants and charged with:
Falsely Reporting An Incident
No bond amounts are listed at this time.
Not all criminals are dumb. Mr. Davis made the right decision not to resist Officer Franklin.
Mr. Davis also has a previous record in Bell County (I know you are surprised) with charges that consist of but are not limited to:
Serving Warrant For Other Agency X2
Bench Warrant X6
Public Intoxication Excluding Alcohol X1
Disorderly Conduct X1
Fugitive From Another State X1
Alcohol Intoxication In a Public Place X2
Criminal Possession of a forged Instrument 2nd Degree X4
Burglary 2nd Degree X1
Possession of Burglary Tools X1
Parole Violation X3
Falsely Reporting An Incident X1
Officer Franklin missed supper. It wasn’t the first time. The criminal made it to jail. It wasn’t his first time either. The citizens of The Boro were served. Mamaw was served. Big Bear Cowan had a nice supper. Officer Franklin ate the left over chicken from last night with cold fried taters. All is well in The Boro.
Thanks Officer Franklin.
Go Team Middlesboro!!!
“The following article is based on open and public records from the Middlesboro Police Department as well as The Bell County Detention Center Website and is written in the style of satire as an opinion piece not associated or based on the opinions of The Polygraph News, Incorporated—it’s founders, owners or staff.”