The Joker:

As Martha & The Vandellas sing: “No Where To Run To Baby, No Where To Hide”. That’s how it is in the Boro when Sgt. Floyd Patterson (Motown) is on duty.

3/13/19 a little after 7 at the Middlesboro Mall, Sgt. Floyd Patterson (Motown) finds Ms. Jacklyn Goins and arrests her on an FTA warrant for Promoting Contraband, Possession and Tampering with physical evidence as well as another FTA warrant for shoplifting and a probation violation. No bond was listed on the first warrant and 151.00 “Cash” was listed on the 2nd. Ms. Goins was released less than 24 hours later.

As is the norm in Bell County, Ms. Goins has collected her share of frequent flyer miles down at the Pineville Center for Crime School. Her past charges include but are not limited to:

Contempt of Court X1
Shoplifting X5
DUI X1
Falsely reporting an incident X1
Cold Checks X12
Possession 3rd Degree X1
Fugitive X2
Public Intoxication X1
Possession of Methamphetamine X1
Possession Controlled Substance 1st Degree X2
Promoting Contraband X1
Tampering With Physical Evidence X1
Drug Paraphernalia X1
Bench Warrant X25

3/15/19 almost 7 P.M. Motown arrests Ms. Jamie Hembree of Middlesboro out at the West End McDonalds on 6 Bench warrants ranging from Possession, Tampering, Trafficking, Criminal Trespassing and some Traffic non-sense. 2500.00 “Cash” is listed on the traffic violations, 500.00 “Cash” on the Criminal Trespassing and No Bonds listed on the other charges. Ms. Hembree is still staying down at the Pineville Home For Bad Decisions.

Ms. Hembree is also not new to the accommodations at Ferguson Arms. Her past charges include but are not limited to:

Shoplifting X1
DUI X1
Possession of Meth X2
Drug Paraphernalia X2
Tampering With Physical Evidence X1
Resisting Arrest X1
Criminal Trespassing X1
Trafficking in Meth X1
Bench Warrant X9

“No Where To Run To Baby, No Where To Hide”. As the Criminal Whisperer, I’d like to give these ladies a bit of advice. Now we all know that it’s practically impossible to get away from the one that Puts The “Motown In Downtown”, but the Mall and Mcdonalds is kinda putting yourself out there for being nabbed don’t ya think? Let me suggest a few ways to keep this from happening in the future. 1. STAY THE HELL OUT OF THE BORO !!! Let me suggest Frakes or Clairfield, everybody knows their ain’t no cops there. If you really want to get sophisticated Tazewell isn’t that bad you know. 2. A smart criminal would get another birth certificate, go to Georgia or Alabama and get a state ID, new SS number, and then easily a driver’s licence. If the illegal can do it, surely you can also right? 3. It’s nice to have a fresh start. Spring is here and all. Ladies if you’d just run through the tunnel and go out West then even if arrested you won’t have to worry about the MPD coming to get you. They’d rather you stay out there actually. 4. Surely keeping your reserved spot down at the jail ain’t worth hanging around for? Think of the taxpayers. You’ve cost them thousands of dollars in man hours, administration costs, as well as gas money and wear and tear on the Patrol Cars hauling you down to Pineville. You’d be doing a public service to leave.

Thank You Motown for helping these ladies to see the error of their ways.

Go Team Middlesboro!!!

Martha And The Vandellas “No Where To Run To Baby, No Where To Hide” Click Here

Martha And The Vandellas “No Where To Run To Baby, No Where To Hide” Live Version Click Here

 

Disclaimer:
“The following article is based on open and public records from the Middlesboro Police Department as well as The Bell County Detention Center Website and is written in the style of satire as an opinion piece not associated or based on the opinions of The Polygraph News, Incorporated—it’s founders, owners or staff.”