The Joker:

1/6/19, 10 P.M. in the evening. A damsel in distress calls dispatch about being assaulted over on West Rochester. The Night Stalker takes the call. I don’t know about you, but if I was gonna rough up my old lady, I’d rather Chuck Norris show up than The Night Stalker.

Upon arrival the suspect/assaulter had hauled ass (Can’t say I blame him). The Damsel claimed that the assaulter had also “stole her phone” and was at a certain individual’s residence that drove a 2002 Chevy S-10 pick up colored “primer”. This ain’t Face Book baby…Some real stalking is about to begin.

The Stalker arrives at the individual’s residence and finds that he nor the assaulter is there. Then the supernatural eyesight kicks in and he sees the truck turn West off 24th Street onto Chester Avenue. The Stalker runs his hand lightly over the dashboard and says: “24th and Chester Girl.” Christine answers: “Oh Baby.”

Christine catches up to the primer old Chevy Truck and throws on the blue lights. The Stalker approaches the vehicle and immediately recognizes the driver as 19 year old Mr. Matthew Degener of Willow Street (Drug Avenue) Middlesboro. The Stalker knows that Mr. Degener has no driver’s licence. The passenger, Mr. Christopher Collett of Middlesboro is the person the Damsel in distress pointed out as her attacker. Naturally, the Stalker has Mr. Collett cuffed and in the back of the cruiser faster than you can say: “Welcome Back.”

Just about this time Officer Brad (Bad Brad) Cawood shows up to help out. Bad Brad goes and hangs out with Mr. Degener while The Stalker has a warm conversation with Mr. Collett. Apparently Mr. Collett had a little weed on him and was now on his way back to visit his Pineville Time Share on a Domestic complaint when he relayed to The Stalker that there was meth in the vehicle located where the Seat meets the console and that it belonged to Mr. Degener. Well Thank You for such cooperation Mr. Collett. Squeak!!!

Mr. Degener is taken back to the cop shop and interviewed. Mr. Degener at this point is facing a “Pay or stay” bench warrant and a charge of not having a driver’s licence. Remember Mr. Degener may be big, 6 foot 1 and 275 pounds but he is also only 19 years old. Not exactly as experienced at being in jail and as hardened as the 27 year old Collett. Mr. Degener tells The Stalker that there is two bags of Meth in the console of the Truck, and that it belonged to Mr. Collett. Squeak!!! Of course The Stalker already knew this. In fact the total take was 19 grams, enough to kill off a family of 4.

So we have two Rats on their way to Pineville.

Mr. Degener is charged with:

Bench Warrant “Pay Or Stay” 173.00 dollars
No Licence, 5K “Cash” Bond
Possession of Meth, No Bond

Mr. Collett is charged with:

Possession of Marijuana, No Bond
Contempt of Court, No Bond
Disorderly Conduct, No Bond
Possession of Meth, 5K “Cash” Bond

Remember that the case here is about 19 grams of Meth. Well in street value that is roughly about 15 hundred dollars at 80 bucks a gram. Even more if you cut it up. Now where do these two losers with no jobs get enough cash to grab that amount at wholesale? Has the price dropped that much? No, I doubt it. Someone out there is financing them. Hey Mamaw, find out who that is and turn those baby killing bastards in.

In the meantime, Mr. Collett was removed from the Bell County Rat House about 12 hours later and moved to another facility because Rats among Rats can be a dangerous situation. They tend to be cannibals. As you that follow us know, Mr. Collett has been mentioned before in these writings. For More On Mr. Collett Click Here

My guess is that when the two get to court, the lawyers will decide who takes blame for the meth. I won’t say who my money is on here as being the owner. Squeak!!! LOL.

So The Night Stalker with a little help from Bad Brad Cawood took 19 grams of baby killing dust off the streets of the Boro. Thank you boys for that.

Go Team Middlesboro !!!

“The following article is based on open and public records from the Middlesboro Police Department as well as The Bell County Detention Center Website and is written in the style of satire as an opinion piece not associated or based on the opinions of The Polygraph News, Incorporated—it’s founders, owners or staff.”