SHERIFF’S REPORT: FROM COPPERHEADS TO MAD COW DEMANDS

Many calls on interesting roads this week. Restless bucks on Buck Hollow, copperhead lying in wait on Copper Still, dirty-dirt bike in the road on Savely, old couple arguing on MakeOut Point, jeep rolled narrowly into the truck on the Narrows, stood by with someone at the brink on Brink Drive and the desperate former actress in distress on Mulholland Drive, drove us to arrive quickly.

GREG HILL was pushing the motorcycle in the dark on Sam’s Creek when the Sergeant drove up on him. After some investigating, HILL allegedly didn’t like the questions and decided to bolt. HILL fought with the deputy for what seemed to be an eternity until backup arrived. HILL was discovered to be a fugitive from justice and caught more charges including an assault on an officer. Thank God it wasn’t an Officer Down…

The pharmacy in Kingston was burglarized early Monday morning. Cheatham Sergeant Ivey and Kingston Sergeant Vaughn followed the three suspects until they were stopped thirty-five miles from Memphis after THP spiked the tires in a stolen car. Deputy Ivey gave a foot chase until a copperhead snake and swamp stared at him.

These hardened suspects fled to the woods in Fayette County, eluding officers. (How did they get past the snakes?) The suspects were later identified by arriving Feds and we learned they have federal warrants in multiple states. DEA along with US Marshals took over the investigation.

It began in our small town with two of your servant neighbors doing their best, driving over a hundred miles, to stop them. Hopefully, the federal government will catch them. Or maybe, these dangerous criminals will be cuffed up by unknown, small town officers or deputies, just doing their job. Nonetheless, they will be caught and will face Cheatham justice.

Another overdose on Valley View even caused deputies pause with shock at the sight of her. She was an alive zombie who has been so physically ravaged by meth that her former appearance was long gone. Rushed to Nashville’s best trauma unit left first responders disgusted. “The Walking Dead” is no longer a Hollywood Hit but horribly, here and now.

The domestic was reported and the female had left upon our arrival, The male invited deputies into his bedroom to retrieve his ID. A sudden thought of “Uh Oh!” must have tickled his endorphins when he realized he forgot to hide his container of heroin, baggies, scales, and let’s not forget, his loaded pistol nearby.

Even though he’s a convicted felon, we just told him he would be taken to a safe space where delicate judgment for his demands of “mari-opioid legalization now!” would be decided later. His charges started with “possession of a firearm under the commission of a dangerous felony.” We’re not saying hard drugs make you “zombie like” or that maybe he’s an idiot, are we?

Life on some of the roads and hollows of Cheatham may wain and struggle but the vast majority of our county is filled with good people who believe in a safe Cheatham. We agree and stand by our sworn duty. Have a memorable Memorial Day and always remember our Heroes.