SHERIFF’S REPORT: SORRY SO LONG BUT…
SO MUCH STUPIDITY NEEDS RETORTIN’ & REPORTIN’

The infamous Snake Hill Rd. claimed another victim this time: A stuck school bus. When will the snakes thinking they own the hill, relent, and live in harmony with humans who only want to transport hungry kids home? Another school bus rolled out of control on Bearwallow. No injuries.

“Oh my gosh, last Saturday was crazy busy!” Here’s a recap of what happened in Cheatham: A domestic on Brookside led to electric lines laying down on Hwy 12.
The scams keep on coming and this time on Leo Baker Rd. when “Vladimir Pootervich” told “Cock-Fighter Percy” there was a warrant for him out of Cheaztr oxpyr after not showing up for jury duty. Even if it was in southern-twang broken English, Percible needed three-thousand American dollars or “Commissar Breedlovich” would take him to the nearest goulash.

SCAMMER REMINDER: Just hang up on them, please!

A domestic assault which was obscenely aggravated, occurred on the outer limits of Cheatham. The Lonesome Pine call resulted in a decision the aggressor passed go and went directly to jail. Her little pretty was towed as well.

This is what happened on one jail shift by your dedicated correctional deputies:
“At approximately 1:28pm, we combined with 1st shift to complete a thorough Dorm search of Delta pod and many extra sheets, blankets, mat foams were found along with multiple modified pieces of metal and broom handles that were sharpened and could be used as weapons. A few more pieces of contraband were seized and all reports and contraband were put into Sgt. Whitt’s office. Thank you 1st shift for staying over to help! Teamwork makes the mission we sign up for work!!”

We need and expansion so we can separate, classify and secure the truly dangerous ones from the others who just want to do their court ordered weekends. Cheatham citizens, please support us on our journey to build a space to treat the ones who want it and segregate the many dedicated bad criminals who are too far gone.

A dangerous pursuit escalated when two deputies were intentionally targeted by the suspect and injured with a multi-ton weapon. Fleeing into Nashville, it got worse when the suspect, ANDREW HINTON (First pic) allegedly tried to hit other innocent drivers who were just trying to get to their destination. No bond has been set on the three, miraculously, they killed no one this time.

They injured and traumatized people of all backgrounds who were just trying to get to their destination. The video was horrifying, despicable and senseless. Divine intervention must have stepped in to guard the innocent was from dying on Tuesday. .

Attention drug users, dealers and traffic going in and out on Lillard Williams: The neighbors are fed up with you and we are too. JODY McGLOTHREN (2nd pic) was arrested after leaving the suspected house of misery and charged with possession of meth for resale. We’re not going to stop our determination until we rid your poison and criminal activity you bring.

Not much funniness this week but that’s ok. Sometimes, reality needs to bite. Come to “Music on Main” in AC on Saturday and meet up with your rambling sheriff with his side- arm of nonsense. We can chat, joke and laugh.

Your sheriff may even tell tales too hot for FaceBook! Have a wonderful weekend Team Cheatham, come out and enjoy lots of music Saturday!!