The Joker:

2/3/19 around 2:30 in the afternoon, Joe Holder is cruising (snooping) around listening to his favorite rock group (The Police) when he spots Mr. Jeffery Baker of Pineville in the Food City Parking Lot. Mr. Baker has a Bench Warrant for “Possession Of Meth” and doesn’t even bother to argue with Joe, much less try and outrun him. Mr. Baker was driven down to his hometown where he was checked into it’s finest hotel under a 2500.00 “Cash” Bond. 38 year old Mr. Baker has stayed at the Pineville Hotel before under past charges of DUI, Possession of Meth and Bench Warrants X3. Mr. Baker is still resting at the Jail.

On the way back from Pillville Joe listened to his favorite singer (Sting) sing:

Every breath you take
Every move you make
Every bond you break
Every step you take
I’ll be watching you…

2/7/19 about 3 P.M. Joe Holder gets behind an old Toyota pick up truck on Cumberland Avenue and realizes the driver has a warrant on him. Joe put on the sirens and Christmas lights but the Truck went on past 31st street. The truck turns on to 34th street and doesn’t give a signal. The truck runs the stop sign on 34th and Winchester and 34th and Exeter. The old truck couldn’t even outrun one of the Middlesboro oil leaking cruisers much less Joe Holder if he decided to ditch the car. Finally the driver pulls the old truck into a residence where the chase ends.

Joe asked: “Why did you run”?
Mr. Mark England: “I knew I had warrants and I wanted to get my brother’s truck home”
Joe: “Eye Roll”.

Mr. England was taken down to his Pineville Time share where he was charged with:
Fleeing or Evading Police
Disregarding Stop Sign X2
Possession of Marijuana
Failure to signal X2
Bench Warrant X2

No bonds were listed on the Evading or traffic charges. 500.00 Each was listed on the warrants. Mr. England was released the next day at 1 P.M.

Mr. England is familiar with the accommodations in Pineville. His past charges going back to 1994 include but are not limited to:

Aggravated Assault X4
Violation of Protective Order X3
Contempt of Court X3
Suspended Licence X1
Non-Support X1
Warrant for Other Agency X1
Criminal Mischief X1
Bench Warrant X7
Shoplifting X1
Fleeing or Evading on Foot X1

Just another day in the life of Joe Holder chasing bad guys, although the two above aren’t exactly the most hardened criminals. Maybe they are just good ole boys that can’t get out of their own way. It’s Joe’s job to bring them in.

On the way home Joe was thinking about getting into his new Titanium shoes for his nightly run down Hwy 63 to Lafollette and Back. He’s still upset about what happened on Christmas Eve. He could hear Sting say:

“There’s a little Black Spot on the sun today.
It’s the Same ole thing as Yesterday.”

It takes a special kind of person to go into law enforcement. The job is mostly thankless and very misunderstood. For those that last long periods in the business something changes inside them that only they can purvey to you.

Thank You Joe Holder for protecting the public.

Go Team Middlesboro!!!

The Police:”Every Breath You Take” Click Here

The Police: “King Of Pain” Click Here

High Speed Chase On Christmas Eve…Click Here

“The following article is based on open and public records from the Middlesboro Police Department as well as The Bell County Detention Center Website and is written in the style of satire as an opinion piece not associated or based on the opinions of The Polygraph News, Incorporated—it’s founders, owners or staff.”